Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she started to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes and she jumps up and goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requested. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, and my drunk best friend knocked on our door. We screamed 'go away' and she still opened the door. She then saw us, and asked if she can join. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I went on a first date. She got plastered within the first hour, then a song came on in the restaurant and she told me, "This song's about meeeeee." FML
Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
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Top comments
trackrunner525 0
lmao, that sucks man...blue balls :-p
coloradodude12 0
Ouch. But she was drunk.
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Comments (170)
joqez 0
Lol, if you was drunk, how can you remember??
sykokitti 15
that's hilarious!!! lmfao..
mexicutioner123 0
Looks like we avoided *puts on sunglasses* A sticky situation YEAAAAAAHHHHHHH
Cali_Italian 8
Wow, you know what I just love? When people call sorority girls bitches, skanks, dumb, drunks, etc...SO ORIGINAL. Half the girls in my graduating high school class were like that, and the only ones to join sororities were me and my good friend. Both of us are virgins, were in the top ten smartest of our class, she doesn't drink and I don't drink much, and as for being a bitch, I have never met a girl who hasn't had at least one bitch moment. I know some girls in sororites who are dumb, drunk, skanky bitches, but (surprise surprise) I also know girls not in a sorority who are like that.
hendoyouknow 7
Damn that sucks!! You were both drunk though:/
Tpracingkg 15
Got to love Em sorority girls.
Bob_Mooky 9
This was posted on my birthday :D
ProctorKProducti 5
In this story you got a *******, how is this an FML???
mea_iloveskiing 26
oh
gqgymnast 11
You're a special kind of stupid, aren't you?