Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, I went to see my girlfriend to talk about my anxiety, because it's been a big issue. She broke up with me instead. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained about our recent dry spell. I've been under a lot of stress at work, but I told her some things she could do to help. She decided a better idea was to scream that I don't care about her needs, and that I should never "burden her" with my problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML
Today, I finally had the opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend. This would be the first time for both of us, so I tried to make it really special. I had everything planned out to be very romantic. She loved how it was set up. After all that, I couldn't get it up at all, all night. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, I asked a girl out. She sent me a whole list of reasons that she hated me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
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Top comments
CookiesNOJ 0
think about it.. is that the only way she can get your attention? then you suck!
lovelyred 0
was having a small penis one of them?
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Comments (87)
rauj13 0
Learn how to think in a non-linear fashion, please.
UnearthlyEnemy 9
Well, liven up emo kid! World's not that bad.
madskillz3088 0
Now give her a list of why you should **** her... :) maybe it'll make her get out of depression.
mama2b3 20
Is that the only way she can get you to come see her or listen to her? Was that on the list?
Memoohhh 0
The first part still confuses me. :(
Memoohhh 0
Oh. Okay. I got it. :P Hah, that's funny.
maskedman 9
YDI for dating an emo. They seem cool at first but eventually they'll depress you (just like ice cream). FYL for falling for the old "let's get it on" trap. BTW, did you ever have sex? That would probably help with the depression.
chewbacca69 0
ice cream is always ****** awesome
pop_a_squat 2
Personally OP, I think your gf badly approached the subject about what's bothering her in the relationship. If someone made and read a list to me about my faults, I'd probably get defensive. On another note, if the only way your gf can get your attention is by promising sex, that hints to me that you're a total tool. Suppose your girlfriend said, "We need to talk." Would you still have come, OP?
RaIeigh 0
Heh she loses points for bein deceitful but you get points for getting dumped to work on yourself .
FYLDeep 26
Stop being so depressing then.