Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, I went to see my girlfriend to talk about my anxiety, because it's been a big issue. She broke up with me instead. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained about our recent dry spell. I've been under a lot of stress at work, but I told her some things she could do to help. She decided a better idea was to scream that I don't care about her needs, and that I should never "burden her" with my problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML
Today, I finally had the opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend. This would be the first time for both of us, so I tried to make it really special. I had everything planned out to be very romantic. She loved how it was set up. After all that, I couldn't get it up at all, all night. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, I asked a girl out. She sent me a whole list of reasons that she hated me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
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Top comments
CookiesNOJ 0
think about it.. is that the only way she can get your attention? then you suck!
lovelyred 0
was having a small penis one of them?
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Comments (87)
thefutureiswild 0
stupid women! witholding sex!
paprikacha 9
...and the fact that you consider not getting laid this one time due to your girlfriend expressing her concerns with your relationship **** My Life material is one of those reasons, right?
TripLikeEyeDo 0
she is cheating on you. Mark my words!
darkmis1 18
I modded this. Instead of it saying his girlfriend promised they'd get it on, it said his girlfriend promised him a ********. I don't know why the modders would change that.
HeXr 22
maybe instead of bitching about not getting laid OP should look at himself and ask if there's any remote possibility that what his girlfriend says is true, and whether he needs to work on himself. at least his girlfriend is expressing what's wrong and not just keeping silent. there's more to relationships than just sex
hedgerow 0
fix the reasons and get it on!
FAM_fml 0
The "list" is a good enough reason for walking papers. Life is a giant pile of sh** bring a shovel and a really good sense of humor. If your depressed your raining on my parade. She didn't need you she needs a psychiatrist.
MichaelJacks_fml 0
Do you know what the word selfish means?? I don't, but I get alot of what you get too. Just move on and become something that girls would die for and then turn them down.
picturescrazy 24
So she has to bribe you with sex in order for you to come over?
sentenza1 0
every day normal girl! they all like that! come youll get rewarded..... not! get use to this mate!