Today, I went to a club with my friends. I noticed the bouncer looked at me strangely. Then he erupts and screams, "you're the bitch who caused havoc and £255 damage to the cloakroom, pay up or I'll call the fuzz!" Little did I know my 15-year-old sister stole my ID last weekend. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML
Today, my sister and I look enough alike she was able to steal my ID to go and get a tattoo at 15 years-old. Our mom is furious and also blames me, as though I willingly let her use my ID. FML
Today, I went to a club with some friends. I ordered two drinks from the waitress and gave her a fifty. She never returned with the change, and the rest of the staff claimed they didn't know who I was talking about. FML
Today, while paying a $60 tab on drinks for a girl, a guy grabs the money-clip out of my hand and runs. I start to chase after him; the girl trips me, then runs after him. The bartender calls the cops; not to catch the thieves, but to report me for not paying. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID, and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then went on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. It didn't go well since unfortunately he’s the guy I had to remove from the club I’m the bouncer at, and had to report to the police for getting drunk, stroking himself over his pants and taking photos in the ladies toilets. FML
Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, my sister got me in deep trouble at the store I worked security for. She "dropped by to say hi" and stole a bunch of things when I wasn't looking. I wasn't arrested, due to lack of any evidence. But my boss didn't care about evidence and fired me anyway. FML
Today, bouncing at a local bar. I I.D.'d a girl with a group of people. I told her that next time she used a fake I.D., she at least should get one with a picture that looked like her. She started crying and ran off. A guy told me that she had been in a car wreck, and had been badly disfigured. FML
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Top comments
lets_be_ian 5
did none of you guys get the part about the stolen ID? for ***** sake I don't think she was heading in to the new Twilight Release party... some kids do ****** up things like this when they can take advantage of having older siblings.
love15_fml 8
hello, Europe... UK
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Comments (87)
01100110 0
"I don't know where my ID is, FML"
plexico 4
The fuzz? Are you from an episode of "Starsky and Hutch?" Who's the bouncer, Huggy Bear? A guy on a first date with a girl asks her, "Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?" She replied, "No, but I've been swung around by the ****!"
Insert_Wit_Here 0
I never call fake on these, but I'd like everyone to just imagine a bouncer actually saying "You're the bitch who caused havoc and 255 pounds damage to the cloakroom". It's an extremely awkward sentence to yell at someone. Also, the only way someone could get away with that amount of damages is if they didn't get caught. Obviously the sister didn't get caught, because someone (parents, cops) would have been informed. Seems like bullshit to me.
cocky 0
cloakroom? the fuzz? WTF are you talking about?!
Amkii 0
.....are you kidding? The coat room. The police. Read a book, son!
XDplz 0
Did she shit on the coats?
lynzykins 0
Dane Cook ftw.
thatOMGZguy 0
ask him for proof :/ if he has none then youve got no problem, plus if they have cameras at least you can let yer sister take the heat
jchansfan 0
"AND YOU'RE THE PYSCHO SCREAMING AT THE WRONG PERSON!" =)
tiancai 0
Congratulations, you've become a victim of identity theft.
lackofcolour 0
this is definitely possible! let's say the OP was around age twenty, I known plenty of fifteen year olds that could pass for that age easily. they are sisters, they probably strongly resemble each other, and if the bouncer wasn't the same bouncer that dealt with the younger sister than he wouldn't distinguish the two.
sen67 0
i dunno why people are doubting this FML so much, where im from in the uk, the term "the fuzz" is widely used. if she had called the police "cops" i might have doubted her because cops is rarely used in the uk. secondly,, i feel her pain, ive had my brat of a little sister steal my ID many times. thirdly, cloakroom is the same as a coatroom, there is no regional difference, a cloakroom/coatroom/storeroom is where you dump your coats/bags/umbrellas in a club. last but not least, ive had a FML posted here before and i didnt recall the anecdote word for word, so the bouncer may not have said "the fuzz" but something else, but the poster decided to change it up. the story is still the same but with different words. all you naysayers are the kings of nitpicking. saddos.