Today, I went to a club with my friends. I noticed the bouncer looked at me strangely. Then he erupts and screams, "you're the bitch who caused havoc and £255 damage to the cloakroom, pay up or I'll call the fuzz!" Little did I know my 15-year-old sister stole my ID last weekend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML
Today, my sister and I look enough alike she was able to steal my ID to go and get a tattoo at 15 years-old. Our mom is furious and also blames me, as though I willingly let her use my ID. FML
Today, I went to a club with some friends. I ordered two drinks from the waitress and gave her a fifty. She never returned with the change, and the rest of the staff claimed they didn't know who I was talking about. FML
Today, while paying a $60 tab on drinks for a girl, a guy grabs the money-clip out of my hand and runs. I start to chase after him; the girl trips me, then runs after him. The bartender calls the cops; not to catch the thieves, but to report me for not paying. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID, and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then went on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. It didn't go well since unfortunately he’s the guy I had to remove from the club I’m the bouncer at, and had to report to the police for getting drunk, stroking himself over his pants and taking photos in the ladies toilets. FML
Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, my sister got me in deep trouble at the store I worked security for. She "dropped by to say hi" and stole a bunch of things when I wasn't looking. I wasn't arrested, due to lack of any evidence. But my boss didn't care about evidence and fired me anyway. FML
Today, bouncing at a local bar. I I.D.'d a girl with a group of people. I told her that next time she used a fake I.D., she at least should get one with a picture that looked like her. She started crying and ran off. A guy told me that she had been in a car wreck, and had been badly disfigured. FML
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Top comments
lets_be_ian 5
did none of you guys get the part about the stolen ID? for ***** sake I don't think she was heading in to the new Twilight Release party... some kids do ****** up things like this when they can take advantage of having older siblings.
love15_fml 8
hello, Europe... UK
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Comments (87)
Miser_fml 0
The People complaining about the 15Year old gettin gin. Here half the time it doesn't even MAtter, as soon as Girls develop Boobs, they get into clubs, regardless of Age.
chop_buster 0
250 "L"s of damage? Holy shit, that's practically an "M." Nyuk nyuk nyuk.
janise 2
Stinks for the OP. This is one of the few FMLs that actually sound feasible. It's not that difficult for a 15 year old to sneak into a club b/c most bouncers don't really care as long as the 15 year old has an ID so the bouncer doesn't get in trouble for letting somebody in with no ID. The little sister probably left before she was caught and they had video tape of doing the damage or somebody saw her but she got away before she could be apprehended. She probably looked enough like her sister that someone could mistake her for her little sister.
kisseshugsdrugs 5
id beat my sister ass for being a drunk idiot. and this fml was almost more interesting to read with all the uk lingo haha
Sparkiee93 3
You should kick your sister in the esophagus when you get home.
thelistman 0
Why would the bouncer remember the ID and not your sister? This is fake.
mrdecay 3
What club was that at? I'm from around the same region as you (H)
xpikoalax 0
also what are you from the 3rd century!? the fuzz!?
Brey1013 0
Your sister sounds like she knows hoe to PARTY :D
Brey1013 0
Sounds like your sister knows how to PARTY!! :D