Today, I went to a club with my friends. I noticed the bouncer looked at me strangely. Then he erupts and screams, "you're the bitch who caused havoc and £255 damage to the cloakroom, pay up or I'll call the fuzz!" Little did I know my 15-year-old sister stole my ID last weekend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML
Today, my sister and I look enough alike she was able to steal my ID to go and get a tattoo at 15 years-old. Our mom is furious and also blames me, as though I willingly let her use my ID. FML
Today, I went to a club with some friends. I ordered two drinks from the waitress and gave her a fifty. She never returned with the change, and the rest of the staff claimed they didn't know who I was talking about. FML
Today, while paying a $60 tab on drinks for a girl, a guy grabs the money-clip out of my hand and runs. I start to chase after him; the girl trips me, then runs after him. The bartender calls the cops; not to catch the thieves, but to report me for not paying. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID, and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then went on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. It didn't go well since unfortunately he’s the guy I had to remove from the club I’m the bouncer at, and had to report to the police for getting drunk, stroking himself over his pants and taking photos in the ladies toilets. FML
Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, my sister got me in deep trouble at the store I worked security for. She "dropped by to say hi" and stole a bunch of things when I wasn't looking. I wasn't arrested, due to lack of any evidence. But my boss didn't care about evidence and fired me anyway. FML
Today, bouncing at a local bar. I I.D.'d a girl with a group of people. I told her that next time she used a fake I.D., she at least should get one with a picture that looked like her. She started crying and ran off. A guy told me that she had been in a car wreck, and had been badly disfigured. FML
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Top comments
lets_be_ian 5
did none of you guys get the part about the stolen ID? for ***** sake I don't think she was heading in to the new Twilight Release party... some kids do ****** up things like this when they can take advantage of having older siblings.
love15_fml 8
hello, Europe... UK
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Comments (87)
shuttuplily 0
BUSTED! i think its f her life
Sun_Kissed18 25
it would only be f her life if the bouncer actually believed her. other than that, its just the wrath of a big sister because unless she is a problem child, the mom won't believe the OP
null_fml 11
So? Just run. He's not a very good bouncer if he couldn't catch your 15-year-old sister while she was actually there last weekend. (I'm tempted to call fake for that reason but I guess he could just be really bad at his job.)
No_Heart 0
I love how people on fmylife always give advice that would only work at the time the fmylife is happening.
null_fml 11
Of course... it's a little game we play called "make the OP look stupid". It's fun, join in!
allmidnighteyes 11
Don't do anything. She can repay for it with her body and sexual gratuities.
Intoxicunt 6
Or she can do what I do: Blackmail! She can threaten to go to the cops and say that they let her in without checking the ID. They won't be able to prove they didn't.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Hell, if the sister can cause that much havoc to rack up £255 in damages, she could teach a thing or two in bed. Crazy S&M sex anyone?
Intoxicunt 6
Me, please. :)
Witchcraft_fml 5
FML orgy!
Intoxicunt 6
WOOHOO!!! =D *Strips*
Witchcraft_fml 5
Hell yeah! *porno music begins playing* Does anyone have any Ecstasy?
Intoxicunt 6
Yes. Uh, I mean no. *Hands over E discreetly* *DANCES!*
sjks 0
uhhh we're talking about a 15 year old here
PandaPandaPandaX 0
#49 I'm guessing you haven't met any 15 year olds recently. Some of the ones I know have sex, do drugs, and go to the night clubs already. Woot S&M party :D
allmidnighteyes 11
How the hell did I miss out on this? :C
nerdytacos 3
WTF?!?! you guys are sick!
amagaeru 0
Sounds possible, but I doubt it. I don't know what the drinking age is in the UK (18?), but in any case there's at least 3+ years difference between you and your sister. Maybe you resemble each other enough that she can pass with your ID, but there's usually a noticeable enough difference between 15 and 18+ that the bouncer should have been able to distinguish the two of you. Then again, there I've known mid-teenagers that looked like they were well over 18.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
I recently met a 14 years old who looked at the very least 19/20. We were talking of various things when she told me her age and I had to make her repeat twice before I believed the age. Shockingly, it seems to go both ways, because then, she asked me my age, I told her and she misheard me, thinking I was 13. (I'm 30, but the music was loud.) The talk ended pretty quick after this discovery, and she wondered why I was distancing myself so fast. lol
mangoboy1 19
I'm 14 but I've been mistaken as high as 23 but usually 17.no one ever guesses my real age
saintmichi 0
firstly, no one in england calls the police 'the fuzz' secondly, no one in a club calls the police. you just radio for them thirdly, if you look that similar to your 15 year old sister i'd reccomend a new hairstyle at the very least EPIC FAIL
Kervik 0
Are you English? You will find many people call them 'the fuzz'.
expen_dable 0
forget genetics, its totally her hair! why else would 2 sisters look alike?
Alphabetica 0
People in the UK have many different terms for the Police and the 'Fuzz' is one of them, calm down!
cselby 0
ya know, for all those people saying that this is fake due to the bouncer not being stupid enough to allow a 15-year old in, I don't think it's that big of a deal. Maybe this 15 year old is a little more, lets say, developed than other 15 year olds? Maybe she just generally looks older, or maybe that particular club isn't strict? Where I'm from (which granted, is much different than the UK), high school kids get into bars/clubs with fakes allllll the time. if anything, the OP lied about the age of her sister (maybe she's a little older) but this seems like feasible story.
kewlcat 0
yeah my friend is 15 and can pass for a 22 year old but thats also cause shes 6ft..
evilhobbitofdoom 4
So, it's quite possible that the bouncer in question wasn't on duty the night that her 15 year old sister was there, and only got a name and rough physical description to watch out for. Not unusual. Secondly, calling and radioing are the same thing in most people's vernacular... Although, #19 does have a point. The only time I've heard any Englishman call the police the "fuzz" was quoting from Hot Fuzz.
Slantbeard 0
YDI for having a sister.
scillya 0
this happened to me before lol not the having to pay part tho
Witchcraft_fml 5
Sounds like the bouncer forgot to take his meds! Get back on his good side and bring him some water and summadem tasty pills.