Today, I went through an entire roll of toilet paper in just over an hour. You win this time, questionable pork souvlaki. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, after a day, I finally noticed that the toilet paper I'd been using to wipe my butt is actually a roll of paper towel cut in half. My dad thinks that it's a waste of money to buy proper paper. Guess who had to unclog the toilet twice. FML
Today, as I realized I'm too broke to go out and get more toilet paper, I noticed my cat chewing on something and tearing it apart. It was my last roll. FML
Today, I accidentally dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet. It was my last roll. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML
Today, I had to drive over an hour away to buy toilet paper. FML
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
Today, I went to change the toilet paper roll. I failed. It was the last roll of the "right kind," and my wife is "fine" and "not mad." Let the confinement continue. FML
Today, I took a dump at work, when I realized there was no toilet paper left. There was another guy in the room, so I asked him for some. He decided he'd rather dump all the rolls of paper into the other toilets, before wishing me luck and walking out while laughing his ass off. FML
Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML
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Top comments
singer0421 32
Why eat it in the first place if it was questionable?
Thatissarcastic 17
Gas station food. Not even once.
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Comments (80)
worldclassrager 41
this time? that doesn't sound like you will not try again with this...
sariberii 8
Yet another reason to be vegan!
fangirlofthings 21
Not even the first reason, I'll stick with my tasty dead animals thanks.
heyLaddieHey 18
This is extra terrifying since I just had pork souvlaki
Dominus101 20
Upset stomachs suck, at least you know better next time
BeenIt 5
Bad pork? That's very dangerous. I'd consult the doctor about that.
rojoesydney 6
You should of used 3 ply toilet paper
Reasonable_one 12
This time? You have future plans to eat questionable pork?
Magnic 6
Call me crazy but in my country we don't eat what's bad for you. I don't know. Maybe being an european makes me weird.
whitedesi 10
Feel the Bern
spudking 19
There is never a time questionable pork (or chicken, or seafood) will not win.