Today, I went through an entire roll of toilet paper in just over an hour. You win this time, questionable pork souvlaki. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after a day, I finally noticed that the toilet paper I'd been using to wipe my butt is actually a roll of paper towel cut in half. My dad thinks that it's a waste of money to buy proper paper. Guess who had to unclog the toilet twice. FML
Today, as I realized I'm too broke to go out and get more toilet paper, I noticed my cat chewing on something and tearing it apart. It was my last roll. FML
Today, I accidentally dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet. It was my last roll. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML
Today, I had to drive over an hour away to buy toilet paper. FML
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
Today, I went to change the toilet paper roll. I failed. It was the last roll of the "right kind," and my wife is "fine" and "not mad." Let the confinement continue. FML
Today, I took a dump at work, when I realized there was no toilet paper left. There was another guy in the room, so I asked him for some. He decided he'd rather dump all the rolls of paper into the other toilets, before wishing me luck and walking out while laughing his ass off. FML
Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML
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Top comments
singer0421 32
Why eat it in the first place if it was questionable?
Thatissarcastic 17
Gas station food. Not even once.
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Comments (80)
ahabsfan 17
There's going to be a next time?
caliguy08 17
That sucks...but the fact you were able to post this is awesome!!! Well versed also...perfect verbiage.
fmlperson8264 16
Well that sucks. Hope you get better soon op.
prized_loser 17
You should try Mexican food.
Enzymatically 14
you got porked
valley626 14
If you had to add questionable and still ate it, you deserved it. Sorry for your booty hole though.
HollyQuinn 21
That must have been some shitty ass meat. No pun intended. Well, actually, kind of intended.
LastResort318 14
Man. You must feel like crap after that.
KelseyDaBoyz 21
LOL AT YOU ALL
shotgun_girl 17
Omagawd that wording is perfect