Today, I went shopping with my cousin. Walking down the road, I heard her say "Can you hold my hand?" I was confused, but thought it was cute, so I held her hand and kept walking. It turns out she'd asked me to hold her bag. We didn't say another word after that. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, a cute girl was walking towards me. She held up her hand for a high five, so I also did the same. I hadn't noticed her friend behind me, and was left hanging and embarrassed. FML
Slowly walking down the hall
Today, I was walking down the hallway at work when I saw a coworker I hadn't talked to in a while. I went for a high-five as a friendly greeting, but she didn’t see me coming and instead awkwardly grabbed my hand like she was about to hold it. We both froze for a second, and then awkwardly sighed and practically ran away. FML
Let down
Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML
That went well
Today, the girl I've had a crush on decided she wanted to see a movie with me. I tried to hold her hand during the movie and it was great for about four minutes. Then she said, "Can I have my hand back?" FML
Today, while I was shopping at a store with my friend, I noticed a cute girl smiling at us. My friend said, "She's all yours," and walked away. When I approached her, she asked me if my friend was single. FML
Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend for a kiss, and in response, she suggested that we settle for a hand hug. FML
Abandoned
Today, while shopping with my sister, she asked me to wait for her while she quickly said hello to a friend. I sat on a bench for an hour before I realised she wasn't coming back. Turns out, "Hello" had turned into a date. FML
Today, after countless nights spent together and flirty texts, I decided ask my crush on a date while at a party. We went on a walk and held hands. Just as I asked him, he said no, let go of my hand and briskly walked away. He was my ride home. FML
Top comments
AlwaySunny 0
you want a side of incest with that walk?
ILoveEggnog 7
And let the awkward silence ensue.
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Comments (173)
dreamering 16
I didn't know Hong Kong was in Alabama
fr33m3xican 0
Bahaha incest! lol jk
GagaForGaga103 1
why not just say that u didn't hear her correctly and laugh it off..?
ishmail2000 4
Obviously that's what ultimately happened. It's still awkward that he agreed (and thought it was cute) to hold her "hand."
Crazy4Christ 0
how do u think he figured out that's not what she said
Ann23 7
why would you think it's "cute" to hold your cousins hand??
lilkala300 0
that's exactly what I was thinking! this whole thing is just hilarious!!!
california283 6
cousin love.... awk.
niswisk 3
weirdly for all yalls info. a cousin doesnt fit under incest. it has tobe an immediate relative. mom dad brother sister aunt uncle grandparents after that its not considered incest.
TheMonica 0
Wow, you know alot about incest there....
TraceCase_ 19
Dunno about that. It's illegal to marry your cousin in about 1/2 the states in the US. So, I suppose it depends who you ask and where your from. If you asked me, I'd say bangin' your cousin is definitely incest. Y'all
TraceCase_ 19
where *you're from. ...****, I hate that error. Sorry folks.
towboater198425 6
wow sounds like you research incest there buddy, I've heard of knowing the law, but c'mon man, incest, really?
DarkAngelsBlade 25
All I know is its legal to marry third cousins and people who were married in, or their family. Anything closer is too close in DNA to produce a healthy child. At least that's what scientist say. So yeah it's a big no **** zone.
Cassikin 2
I assume that OPs cousin is young enough that it is adorably platonic rather than romantic to hold hands. Nope actually cousin-cousin on average is genetically 'better' than a 40 year old woman having children. Second cousins is no issue, it's only an issue when people marry cousins as the norm over several generations, which used to be very common in a lot of countries and still is in some cultures, if it only happens as a result of the occasional love-match it's fine. Parent-child and sibling-sibling are not so good genetically. Also it does depend how closely related your cousins are, in some areas there is a lot more genetic similarity than in others. Where I live dating and marrying your cousin is generally considered fine by the vast majority, however people who immigrated and some who are overly-influenced by American culture find it squicky. However cousins are more genetically diverse than average and a lot more genetically diverse than some places in particular, so the risks are lower. Actually if you want to have the best possible children genetically speaking, and your family is genetically diverse, you should actually go for a 2nd-3rd cousin, if your family is very inbred go for someone unrelated, if your family is average go for a 3rd-4th cousin. Charles 2nd family tree indicates the results of continuous inbreeding quite well. The cousin-cousin or closer equivalents do well enough for the first generation, but the second generation don't do so well. The average lifespan was ~35, I've included infant mortality, and rounded up decimal points, if I couldn't see the exact date I just used the years and alternately rounded up or down. First generation cousin-cousin or closer: cousin-cousin: Anna of Austria lives to 30, she and her siblings born before 1661 lived to an average of ~32. Those born later only live to an average of 16, but this is most likely due to their mother getting older. Uncle-niece: Margarita of Austria died at 26, but due to childbirth, which was not uncommon, especially considering how many children she gave birth to, and having been otherwise healthy and considered very intelligent, she gave birth 8 times beginning in her mid-teens. She and her siblings live to an average of 30 First generation: Second cousin-Second cousin: Maria Anna of Bavaria, lives to 41, she and her siblings live to an average of 36 Second generation, cousin-cousin or closer: Cousin-Cousin->Uncle-Niece: Of Anna's 5 children, ONE makes it to adulthood, these children are all born when she is 30 or younger, they only live to an average of 12. Second generation: Uncle-Niece->Second Cousins: Margarita's children live to 27.75 As you can see the first generation was healthy enough, but the second generation didn't do so well....
T1A2Z3 35
I thought it did if they were a first cousin but it was fine if they were a second cousin?
xoCOURTNIEox 0
your an inbred !
xoCOURTNIEox 0
ok well YOU'RE an annoying douche 134 !! your not cool cause you go around correcting everyones grammar on FML, it's actually quite lame..go outside & get a life
DarkAngelsBlade 25
Are we sure you aren't inbred as well? You missed another "you're".
perdix 31
I hope it wasn't a colostomy bag.
jdeshnerx3 0
bahahahaha
Crazy4Christ 0
how old is she
OfficeNinja 5
see, if you were in Alabama this story would have a different ending.
neonrubberducky1 0
WIN