Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cooked dinner for the girl I've been dating. Everything was going well until I accidentally set off the smoke alarm. The fire department showed up, and my date spent the rest of the evening flirting with one of the firefighters, so I guess we weren't actually dating? FML
Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
Today, while I was at work, my wife discovered you cannot put out a grease fire with water. I came home to a frantic spouse, a fire department bill, and a newly destroyed kitchen. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML
Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML
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Top comments
biass 0
that was a hot date...
DocBastard 40
Tell her you're just a hunka hunka burnin' love.
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Comments (113)
Phustercluck 11
I'll steal your thunder AND your lightning! My apologies, missed that one. Please don't bite my head off, I need it sometimes.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Oh, that's okay. I didn't like the lightning anyways. But next time... *shakes fist*
iliveinthesky_fml 0
aw well at least it's an experience you guys can look back on!
glambert1998 0
HOT
imkingdavid 0
"Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like." Grammar fail. Unless you actually meant that you really like the girl's house.
lemontarts 0
Now What exactly were you trying to make her? Love handles with a side of cankles...or a clogged artery? Grease is always a bad idea for a date....
bmxfoxrcr 0
Usually I am a pretty damn good cook, just a mishap at the most inappropriate time.
bmxfoxrcr 0
Tried the lid and she didn't have any baking soda.
wtfsnickers 1
baking soda or a lid would have put it out yda
EasilyUnamused 2
This sounds exactly like a date that I experienced. He was going to deep-fry something and ending up starting an oil fire on my stove. I'm now engaged to him :) So chin up, bad things can turn into great things.