Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cooked dinner for the girl I've been dating. Everything was going well until I accidentally set off the smoke alarm. The fire department showed up, and my date spent the rest of the evening flirting with one of the firefighters, so I guess we weren't actually dating? FML
Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
Today, while I was at work, my wife discovered you cannot put out a grease fire with water. I came home to a frantic spouse, a fire department bill, and a newly destroyed kitchen. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML
Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML
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Top comments
biass 0
that was a hot date...
DocBastard 40
Tell her you're just a hunka hunka burnin' love.
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Comments (113)
monkee7798 0
Was she smokin hot (no ****!)? XD Lmfao(: :D
mrahhhhh 21
You deserve it for not getting back in the kitchen and making me a sammich! Let's see how FML reacts to a little steteotyped gender reversal on the part of OP.
mankindblack 0
boring
lily_a 0
idiot! watch the pan next time bozo!
dannodavis 0
During the process of planning dinner you lit the pan on fire? You do know you are supposed to know what you are making BEFORE turning on the stove, right?
Whitehawkxii 0
No use calling the guy names. Anyways., you should've known that putting the oven on a high temprature with grease on it, will cause disaster! YDI >.
OceanMinded 0
Its the thought that counts!
NoFackYourLife 0
Over a grease fire, are you stupid? Cover it, or sprinkle it with baking soda... don't waste the FD's time unless the structure goes up in flames.
kaileigh10 2
Don't know how this even made it on FML. Not entertaining at all.
jkgfdxb 0
if you can't take the heat stay out of the kitchen. and if I were her I'd probably never let you cook again and if that's what she is doing then you win.