Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
Today, a homeless guy asked me for a cigarette. Knowing that I only had a couple left in my pack, I gave it to him. He opened it, took one out and thanked me profusely. A bit surprised, I went on my way. Oh yeah, that's right, the pack contained the money I'd withdrawn from an ATM. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man on the street and decided to give him the dollar bill I had left in my wallet. He said "Thank you" then as I turned to walk away, he muttered "Cheap-ass cunt". FML
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
Today, I stayed with a friend because I was recently kicked out of my home and had nowhere to go. When I went out for job applications, she asked, "Can you pick me up a pack of smokes?" and then got mad that I didn't have the money, calling me selfish. FML
Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for not buying a pack of cigarettes for my boss. I only lasted two months in that junkyard. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
flirty19 0
YDI for smoking.
Lizzy86 0
haha! thats hilarious! btw, i smoke menthols too, i like the way they clear my nose.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (257)
kandi18 0
Dude, that is ******* hilarious!ROTFL
kandi18 0
To all the people that are saying to this person that smoking is bad and second hand is worse. Lay off! There are worse things that can kill you, such as the carbon monoxide in car fumes, smoke coming out of factories, hell, it's not even safe to drink water out of your own faucet because of all the chemicals they put in it. Plus, I bet half of you people that don't smoke probably drink or worse. So why don't you worry about yourself before you condem others. By the way, I don't smoke, I just don't think it's right for people to tell others how to run their lives because I know they wouldn't like other people doing that to them.
crazybiker15 0
ii don't like menthols but when I'm sick I smoke em
Hammerhead_AX 0
That is one awesome homeless guy. XD I love all the people on here saying that if you don't like smoking you just shouldn't be around people who smoke. While you generally can avoid hanging around heavy smokers, there are situations where it's unavoidable, such as crowded train stations and when people cluster around the entrance of a building. That being said, it's still horrible to tell someone to get cancer.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
Yeah, because it sure is awful to endure the two seconds it takes to walk by smokers, open the door and get in. You poor baby you.
Ninjasaurus18 9
Not if it's a mom that smokes inside, outside, in the car and at every restaurant that allows it. I can't drive. So therefore, I can't avoid her.
abalgatti 0
people who smoke fxcking deserve any disease they get. smoking is a complete waste of time and money. plus its hurts other people who smoke. and ya know some people need cars because they have jobs so dont even start with that exhaust crap. its not like i see people huffing a tailpipe anyway. bottom line is smokers have no dignity or respect for their bodies so go die in a cess pool
abalgatti 0
other people who dont smoke* and seriously if people really think they should be in control of their own lives and then they choose to smoke or do drugs then they should lose this fxcking right they think they have. what a dayum drain on society. id love to have front row seats to seeing these type of people in a gas chamber. them and their self entitlement bilboard barack obama ;) yessss i love it
MrQuest 0
YDI for not smoking weed..
brianjman14 23
**** u
danii1996 0
ihate it wen ppl smoke ... ur killin urself!!
Boomthang 0
Menthols are the SHIT! OP gotta try American Spirits. Pretty pricey but very smooth and rich.
almost34 4
How Ironic