Love: Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if...

By Unlucky - 25/07/2012 13:03 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 864

You deserved it 3 617

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Same thing different taste

By bootycall:( - 15/02/2017 13:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I went on what I thought was my fifth date with a guy. We finally got intimate and it was amazing. As soon as it was over, he said : "Sorry babe, I should get going. I have a date tomorrow and I'd hate to be tired for it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 926

You deserved it 1 254

By Anonymous - 04/02/2015 16:06 - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend of 5 days proposed to me at the mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 826

You deserved it 4 853

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 22/09/2009 04:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 319

You deserved it 17 157

By timor - 18/12/2010 16:13 - United States

Today, another man proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 791

You deserved it 4 859

By Anonymous - 03/08/2016 15:31 - United States - Middleboro

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by handing me a ring and saying "Let's get this dumb shit over and done with." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 046

You deserved it 1 888

Emotional rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 29/06/2023 14:00 - United States - Greeley

Today, my boyfriend of four years proposed to me and I said yes. A few hours later, I found out he's been talking to multiple other girls for about three months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 93

By justthinkofyourhand - 13/07/2014 22:36 - United States - Salida

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 564

You deserved it 4 971

Heavy rotation

By shescomfortablynumb - 05/06/2009 07:49 - United States

Today, I had a third date with a great guy. Over dinner, he told me that he wanted to see more of me. When I agreed, he pulled out his schedule book and started to tell me he was dating 5 other women besides me. He then told me what week in the "rotation" would be mine. He wasn't kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 840

You deserved it 4 786

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 13:25 - United States - Evansville

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a little over a week proposed to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 018

You deserved it 3 200

You snooze, you lose

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 22:00

Today, I got turned down by the person who has been wanting to date me for five months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 256

You deserved it 1 054

OhDearBetrayal 25

Wednesday 25 July 2012 19:00

Make sure you read the fine print.

ApologyKick 25

Wednesday 25 July 2012 19:01

That's kinda cute don't you think? Hopefully he wasn't being serdead serious though.

Comments

SeleneB 1

Thursday 26 July 2012 0:56

Are you dating Sheldon Cooper?

eboy111 2

Thursday 26 July 2012 0:56

Sounds like Sheldon cooper from the big bang theory!

DustyLyn1 9

Thursday 26 July 2012 1:02

Did you sign?

BulldogHoops 14

Thursday 26 July 2012 1:06

Hello Amy Farrah Fowler

thunter2000 2

Thursday 26 July 2012 1:24

Are you dating Sheldon Cooper, Phd?

scottybhoymad 0

Thursday 26 July 2012 1:55

Congratulations your going out with sheldon cooper

natalee_boutte 1

Thursday 26 July 2012 2:06

Oh, he just wanted you for his own personal 50 shades. Calm down. ;)

GarysMom725 10

Thursday 26 July 2012 2:08

How very Christian Grey of him.

dramakween515 5

Thursday 26 July 2012 2:32

Someone read fifty shades of grey a few times. That's straight from the book

AphyTheBronette 15

Thursday 26 July 2012 2:43

That's so... Fifty shades. Make sure to read the fine print I hear butt plugs are involved.

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The Top

Today, we realized we had a problem with two appliances. Their manuals were in a high cabinet. My husband got down the one for the appliance he was working on, but left the one I needed up too high for me to reach. I got the step stool and said, "OK" as I climbed up. My husband flipped and yelled that I am "disrespectful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 76

Today, I found out that my parents have been lying about my birthday. Now it makes sense how they "lost the birth certificate" or how many photos of me as a baby are dated before I was actually supposed to be born, because "the camera must've glitched, we must've confused the date we wrote in the back of that card." FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 59

The Top

Today, my mom confirmed my suspicions that my dad cheated on her. She then told me to hide my knowledge about it from my dad, and to keep my brother completely in the dark for now. Now I can't even look at my dad without reaching the brink of crying, and I'm somehow supposed to keep this under wraps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 414

You deserved it 164

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as we were ready, his mom called to say happy anniversary. She was so excited for us, she was going to stop by. After throwing out our unused and only spare condom, she called us and said she was just kidding, and to enjoy ourselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 811

You deserved it 5 851

Today, I saw a YouTube video of the cutest, sweetest old dog. When I checked the channel for more videos of this dog, I discovered that he died last month. Day ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 248

Today, I found out that my parents have thought I'm lesbian for at least a year. I now understand why my dad has been trying to get me to "hang out" with his co-worker's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 834

You deserved it 201

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 903

You deserved it 3 554

Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room. My husband took one look at me, let out a heavy sigh and said, "Right now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 758

You deserved it 5 058