By Anonymous - 03/08/2016 15:31 - United States - Middleboro

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by handing me a ring and saying "Let's get this dumb shit over and done with." FML
I agree, your life sucks 15 988
You deserved it 1 869

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And people say that romance is dead. Pfft.

Unless you think he is actually joking, and he is actually more considerate most of the time, I'd say no. If that is standard behavior, it won't change. Posting here makes it seem like you expect more from a potential spouse, so cut your losses and go find someone who is a bit closer to what you want.

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Let me guess, you still said yes.

Hey, if it's your kind of relationship humor. my fiancée and I were dicks to each other and when he proposed, he asked if I wanted to be "upgraded" to fiancée. I said no because he's a twat and then kissed him. He passed before we upgraded.

I joke around all the time with my people. Calling them cuss words and they call it back, but it's with love and we know we're just joking around. when you're close to someone you should feel comfy enough to do things like that. However, if he was really serious, I'd say that's a problem.

And people say that romance is dead. Pfft.

Unless you think he is actually joking, and he is actually more considerate most of the time, I'd say no. If that is standard behavior, it won't change. Posting here makes it seem like you expect more from a potential spouse, so cut your losses and go find someone who is a bit closer to what you want.

And it doesn't sound like the boyfriend really wants to get married anyways (assuming it's not a joke). He might just be doing it because of OP saying she wanted to get married in the future or something.

Yeah, unless you are 2,000% sure that this is a joke he made that fell flat, don't do it. It's just setting yourself up for a situation where you ending feeling forced to find emotional intimacy in the arms of another, or he ends up doing that because he doesn't feel comfortable doing so with you for whatever reason (which very well might be his problem and no fault of your own). And sadly, emotional intimacy isn't that far from physical intimacy.

#3 From reading the FML, I understand that by "shit" ,the guy referes to the proposal itself, not the marriage. I mean, the very act of proposing (getting on one knee, draw out a wonderful ring after a wonderful night in a wonderful restaurant - or something like this). But this is not relevant to what comes next. The best cooking chief might start making meals with less enthusiat than other people, and yet, perform much better than them. But even apart from that, why being so strict? It does not sound so clean and nice, but he is still proposing. Even if he felt forced in front of his girlfriend's will, that does not make him a bad guy. Proposing is 1mn. Marriage is of a lifetime. Would you really throw everything out for 1 minute?

It's like I'd put a shit on a plate for someone's dinner and say "Why won't you eat? At least I prepared something!"

#53 while I kinda understand what you are trying to say I do not agree with you at all. Just because someone proposes does not mean they deserve and or have to be accepted. Because you are right. A proposal is only 1 minute while marriage is a life time. If both parties do not want a marriage or do not feel the other person is the one, or any of the other hundreds of valid reasons, then they should not accept the proposal and should not get married. Because then that marriage will be a life time of misery and unhappiness due to that one minute. Not knowing anything about OP's relationship I would agree with others and say do not accept because it does sound like this guy is just a dick because that does not sound like a jokingly cute way to propose. More like someone who just does not give a crap and feels like they have to. And that is a horrible reason to get married.

#53 I read it as "dumb shit" referring to the wedding and all that goes with it. I understand that not everyone likes/wants huge ceremonies, but to propose marriage to somone you love by basically degrading all the work that will go into that day that might be really special for your s/o is NOT a good way to start a new life together.

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I didn't even see #2 had the same comment. I'm ashamed of my commenting skills today.

You should be

I second 3's comment. If your "boyfriend" is going to act that way, he clearly sees this as an obligation, rather than something he wants.

If I got proposed to like that, I'd think he obviously doesn't care very much, he put no effort in, as well as called it dumb. Getting engaged is pretty serious, so it isn't really something to do in such a blunt way. If being engaged and wanting to marry you is so "dumb," I'd talk to him and maybe rethink this, because it doesn't sound like a marriage that would last.

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Yeah, because using sex as a weapon works out so well. *eye-roll*

Are you familiar with the story of Lysistrata?

Wow how romantic, not

Hand the ring back a day this relationship is over and done with if if that how your going to propose.