Love: Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if...

By Unlucky - 25/07/2012 13:03 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 863

You deserved it 3 617

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By bootycall:( - 15/02/2017 13:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I went on what I thought was my fifth date with a guy. We finally got intimate and it was amazing. As soon as it was over, he said : "Sorry babe, I should get going. I have a date tomorrow and I'd hate to be tired for it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 924

You deserved it 1 253

By Anonymous - 04/02/2015 16:06 - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend of 5 days proposed to me at the mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 824

You deserved it 4 853

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 22/09/2009 04:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 318

You deserved it 17 157

By timor - 18/12/2010 16:13 - United States

Today, another man proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 788

You deserved it 4 859

By Anonymous - 03/08/2016 15:31 - United States - Middleboro

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by handing me a ring and saying "Let's get this dumb shit over and done with." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 046

You deserved it 1 886

Emotional rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 29/06/2023 14:00 - United States - Greeley

Today, my boyfriend of four years proposed to me and I said yes. A few hours later, I found out he's been talking to multiple other girls for about three months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 93

By justthinkofyourhand - 13/07/2014 22:36 - United States - Salida

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 555

You deserved it 4 970

Heavy rotation

By shescomfortablynumb - 05/06/2009 07:49 - United States

Today, I had a third date with a great guy. Over dinner, he told me that he wanted to see more of me. When I agreed, he pulled out his schedule book and started to tell me he was dating 5 other women besides me. He then told me what week in the "rotation" would be mine. He wasn't kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 838

You deserved it 4 785

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 13:25 - United States - Evansville

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a little over a week proposed to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 018

You deserved it 3 200

You snooze, you lose

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 22:00

Today, I got turned down by the person who has been wanting to date me for five months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 256

You deserved it 1 054

OhDearBetrayal 25

Wednesday 25 July 2012 19:00

Make sure you read the fine print.

ApologyKick 25

Wednesday 25 July 2012 19:01

That's kinda cute don't you think? Hopefully he wasn't being serdead serious though.

Comments

Rabidkid 14

Wednesday 25 July 2012 22:25

One of them 2 year contracts?

Ceejay1 13

Wednesday 25 July 2012 22:28

You have to see the humor in that .

cc88 3

Wednesday 25 July 2012 22:39

He might have read 50 shades of grey a bit too much..

acn16 4

Wednesday 25 July 2012 22:40

Awkward! Hopefully he was cute

PurtayKittay 10

Wednesday 25 July 2012 22:40

Make sure you read it. South Park showed me why. O.O

dan135 5

Wednesday 25 July 2012 22:43

Haha, sounds like something sheldon from big bang would do.

MuseFan1991 14

Wednesday 25 July 2012 22:50

im gona be nice and suggest that he couldnt believe his luck :) like Will in the inbetweeners movie

heyyhowsitgoing 9

Wednesday 25 July 2012 22:51

ah the bf/gf agreement!

tamgibbo 5

Wednesday 25 July 2012 22:51

Ha ha ha excellent lol... Funny

blink_kid 32

Wednesday 25 July 2012 23:18

Just make sure there's nothing about whips or butt plugs in there.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I told my husband to stop his friendship with our neighbor’s 17 year-old daughter. They claim they just play video games together, but lately he’s been uninterested in sex and barely shows me any affection. He vehemently said, “It’s not like we’re fucking or anything! Chill!” and stormed out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 134

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend for cheating on me. I refused his calls, so he texted, not to apologize, but to say I'd "left some clothes in his suitcase"; i.e., he stole some of my clothes. When he didn't get the response from me that he was hoping for, he texted, "I'm wearing your shorts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 120

The Top

Today, I received a package from a local guy on Craigslist. Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only contained a photo of an iPhone. The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so my husband went over and beat the shit out of him. I now have to bail him out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 060

You deserved it 13 552

Today, I bought some roller skates to go with the set my daughter got for her birthday. I haven’t skated since I was a kid, but I figured it was like riding a bike and I couldn’t have forgotten altogether. My broken coccyx disagrees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 241

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 502

You deserved it 84 214

Today, I went to visit my grandma at her old folks’ home. The soup she got for lunch was cold so I took it to the dining room to heat it up. As I put it in the microwave, a slow clap started behind me. I had to stand and wait for soup to heat while being wolf-whistled by a bunch of grandpas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 646

You deserved it 237

Today, as part of my grandad's great struggle to return to the 1960's, he tried to refuse a lifesaving blood transfusion until the nurse could confirm the blood hadn't been donated by anyone who was black, brown, chinese or asian, and so on. My dad is black and I'm half black, so I suspect he doesn't like me either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 102

Today, I stayed the night at a friend's house for the first time. I went to get water from the kitchen when I saw a cat staring at me. I looked back and it ran off. I told my friend about it. He doesn’t have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 591

You deserved it 230