Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML
Today, I went on a first date. She got plastered within the first hour, then a song came on in the restaurant and she told me, "This song's about meeeeee." FML
Today, I took a girl out on a date. We had dinner, we had good conversation, the vibe was excellent, and everything was great. I took her to a bar I frequent after for a couple of drinks to finish the night. She left with some other dude on his motorcycle. FML
Today, I was at the bar with a date. My date made a joke about me being a slow drinker, so I tried to impress her by chugging the rest of my glass. She was impressed with how fast I chugged my beer, until it came back up. FML
Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML
Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our first real date. I had saved all my money for the week for this. I took her to a beautiful restaurant uptown. She got hammered, hit me and screamed that I would never be as good as "Marshall." FML
Today, I went on a date with the girl of my dreams. Her boyfriend, who she said she'd broken up with, was at the same restaurant with another girl. She screamed at him for ten minutes, then they started making out, and left together. The girl he was with looked at me and said "Eww", then went to hit on another guy. FML
Today, I went on a first date. He got so drunk he forgot what he ordered to eat ten minutes after ordering. He also had to text me later to ask if we kissed, because he couldn’t remember. FML
Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Anyone who says "threesome" is an idiot. There, I said it.
ramboman19 8
that must've sucked. :/
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Comments (173)
IamTheCavalist 0
you deserved it bro, for being a pushover haha
thecovert 7
Sounds like you just dodged a drunken bullet. Count yourself lucky!
enonymous 9
So was the boyfriend hot or at least get his phone number?
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
I, for one, do not like reading FMLs about how your dates with your mom turn out. Sure, incest may be best, but remember that mothers are for your brothers. (atomic bombs can be heard falling nearby) Damn it all!
Paiggeerr7 0
wow
camerican21 1
After she was drunk you should have told her YOU were her bf, dumbass
RainbowHeadache 2
Arkansas? Makes sense.
perdix 31
Damn, you missed out on an epic Golden Shower (or avoided bedding a bedwetter.)
gummibehrs 4
At least if he'd bedded the bedwetter, he'd have had something wet in his bed that night.
perdix 31
You are really an optimist. I'll bet you'd like the Pony Joke.
gummibehrs 4
I had to google it. What a load of manure!
NCR 0
I see a problem? Women aren't aloud to drink? I said so!
joshswensoon15 0
it was me that pciked her up