Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone, then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it said, "I'm here for the quicky." Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with a guy, who decided to rudely text message his friend the whole time. When I got home, I realized he'd been texting the girl he was going to hookup with after our date; she happens to be my roommate. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl. Wanting to make a good impression, I spend a lot of time getting ready and by the time I get to the place we were supposed to meet she isn't there anymore. I call her to see where she is. She's in bed with another guy and says "I was REALLY waiting for you". FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
Today, I went on a date and ended up back at her place. She gave me head in the front hall before we started moving to her bedroom. That’s when her dad, asleep on the sofa, woke up. She had no idea why he was there but she still had my stuff dripping down her chin, and he definitely noticed. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said, "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML
Today, I went on a date with the girl of my dreams. Her boyfriend, who she said she'd broken up with, was at the same restaurant with another girl. She screamed at him for ten minutes, then they started making out, and left together. The girl he was with looked at me and said "Eww", then went to hit on another guy. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl who had to cut our date short so she could go on another one. FML
Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML
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Top comments
palmtrees 1
please tell me you left her there.
premiermois 5
Why the FML? You have blackmail. And you should have called her mother right then and there.
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Comments (224)
summer99 0
totally sucks. fyl.
Lmao_xD 0
Wow. i'd leave.
EvAnWuzhere 0
omg drive away
iBimmer 0
YDI for reading someone else's texts.
Casualt1234 0
no one has ever laughed at any of your posts. ever.
Suffertree 0
Ugh. You try and date a ****, this is what happens. YDI.
nomadxx7 0
iBimmer, suck a dingleberry will you. Every comment I've ever seen from you is some sort of stupid YDI for the more erroneous of reasons. YDI for reading her texts, YDI for having a father, YDI for having a beer, YDI for breathing oxygen. My god, everything everybody ever does on this site is definitely their own fault. Yep, couldn't be that this girl is ***** for using this dude as a decoy to get some sex. Nope, it's his fault since he should have KNOWN that that was going to happen. Sorry but if I went on a date and my date was like wait in teh car and it turned into any considerable amount of time (and quicky isn't quick) then I'd probably get bored and read her cell phone too. Inconsiderate for her to do that to him, immature for him to look, but in the end he found out the reason she ditched him. Now how about you go back under your rock iBimmer until the next FML and you can tell them they deserve it for whatever illogical reason your pea-brain can decide. Idiot.
simplyapril 4
I actually agree with this one, its called privacy, no one should read other peoples texts its called respect and trust....
KumoFF7 3
Actually, that that YDI was reasonable. He shouldn't be checking the girls text messages, he had no reason to believe anything was going on even if there was. Its called privacy. You really needed to right a paragraph in response to that? You must have no life at all if you are so familiar with all of iBimmer's comments, you probably spend all day on here. Shut the **** up and get over it. Idiot.
brilliantbarbie 0
First thing you should have done is call her mother and say that your sorry that you have to leave her daughter at (Put address in here)... at (put guys name here) house. Say you heard some panting and screaming and got scared. About 10 mins from then you should have texted the guy "tell your girl thanks for the new phone" That being said...you shouldnt have read her texts, but she was a moron to leave her phone...Karma can be a bitch!!
Bob4545 0
nomadxx7: If he is pissing you off this much, he is winning.
Casualt1234 0
the problem is that iBimmer is not funny or interesting. i've seen a few of his comments and never laughed once. if you're gunna troll, at least make us laugh or swell with rage. that is the point, is it not?
invictvs 0
I am guessing if you are replying to this situation as YDI b/c of some "privacy" bullshit, you are a female; and not focusing on the major issue, which is that this **** had her "date" wait outside while she blew some other dude in his house. If you say YDI, you are just as guilty as that *****
invictvs 0
p.s. FAIL
staystrongholdon 0
You are my hero.
RemixV4 1
simplyapril - Ironic, considering she was betraying his trust with that fake date. If it were me, I would have left her there, drove back to her house, and handed the phone (with text visible) to her mom/dad with a one-liner like "There was a change in plans". Then proceed to head home with a smile on my face knowing paybacks a bitch.
BoWZeR 1
I think ibimmer is funny
underaegis 0
you: plz be a threesome plz be a threesome. you just think she's a bitch cuz you had to go home to ********** instead of actually getting some on a pointless date with a ****.
Drummer389000 0
So call her mom and tell her the story. ;) what goes around comes around...
Pennypoo 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
that was poorly written. Hard to read. But that still does suck
aussie_girl_fml_fml 0
if that was hard to read you must be pretty stupid....
cattoe7 0
hmm weird i understood it just fine & that sucks i would have left & called her mom then it might be harder for her to do that again, shes a *****.
Kittie68 0
wow... really? I had no problem at all. try reading it again.... and if unsuccessful do it again.
palmtrees 1
please tell me you left her there.
happy_me 0
wow that really sucks dude :( tell her mom
prettykitty123 0
Haha omg whattah hoe
LTO73 0
That sucks. FYL
Nextdusk 0
FYL
ashmash 0
that woman has NOO class. so you were supposed to just sit and wait while she had sex...i would be amused as to what lie she would tell about why she took so long in there
DoomJeff91 2
You should have sex with the next guy you see to get back at her. Just be on the way to a movie and say "Stay here. I need a quickie too" and practically rape the usher.
meeeep 0
you mean girl, right?
DoomJeff91 2
She had sex with a guy, he needs to get back at her with the same amount of emotion!
BrownieBoy90 0
Hahaha, you made me lol out loud
Blue_Coconuts 7
#9/20... Epic.
DoomJeff91 2
Watch him follow my advice and I get interoggated by law enforcement. "We understand you told a guy that it's okay to rape ushers.... Is that some sort of sick joke? We found a DVD in your apartment labeled 'Box Office Boys 8." Care to explain?"
Kittie68 0
lol.. typo ;)
mrlucky4444 0
10th!!! (sorry, 10's my lucky number) FYL
megapeyt 17
And look, ten thumbs down. Still your lucky number?
warsun 27
Nah nah still afew more coming