Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. While looking at the menu, my date said "Who even likes kweetch? Gross." When I realized she was trying to say "quiche", I corrected her. That pissed her off. Now I'm at home, alone, trying to decide which hand is going to keep me company tonight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date spent the whole time at the restaurant on his phone and didn't even try to show interest. Thankfully I'll never have to deal with this individual ever again. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML
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Top comments
sn24swim 13
if shes going to leave you after something stupid like that, you're better off without her OP
tj4234 36
For the record, I like quiche.
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Comments (138)
emeraldisle 30
If you hadn't said "quiche" I would've never guessed what she was trying to say.
xxlinneamxx 17
The quiche probably saved you from a hell of a lot of trouble
m_warner1 14
you could've just told her to "quiche my ass" and then left the restaurant
kuzzy00 22
Pun FTW
gintwinsmoore 20
nicely done!
more4me 27
RESPECT !
jerryj 27
Three cheers for wit! Hip hip!
hufflepuffle 13
This FML insinuates that your main reason for going on this blind date was to have sex afterwards. Not judging, just pointing it out.
doodlecloud 27
I think he just means he now has nothing to do and, in the grander scheme of things, is still single.
doodlecloud 27
Also,
randomheartthrob 7
If she gets mad over that then you're better off without her. It's really childish to get mad over trivial things
majesticprincess 19
I'm glad you got out of there while you could aha
JHPugh 19
If she got pissed off after something that small, and left you because of it, you're better off without her. Find somebody you match up with, even though the wait sucks.
Jennandco 25
If she got pissed off for something so minor, imagine what the sex would have been like anyway! 'Really? You're going to use that kind of condom?' And then leave because it was the wrong colour or something, sounds like a nightmare -.-'
howbout_thisone 13
Trust me, a night with your hand is better than a night with Kweetch girl.
Badkarma4u 17
You dodged a bullet OP. Dating dumb girls seems like fun, but its more problems than it's worth..