Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML
Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML
Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
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Top comments
maryiah 21
At least he gave you hope.
iazy9 14
Anything is better than my 3 inch slanger.
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Comments (86)
pattycake135 3
That's ****** that this old guy looked anyway.....not the size of the sword but its the motion of the ocean
LyraAlluse 25
I would have shot a sarcastic comment back like, 'Yeah, and maybe your brain will grow if you water your hair daily like a chia pet.'
danigirl074 6
Teehee! I'm sorry but thats funny ;)
LolCandy 27
Everytime I read an FML about penis size, I realize just how fortunate I am. Or rather, my boyfriend is. But if you have hand skills, or mouth skills, you can make up for it if you are not fortunate. Generally size doesn't do for the ****** though, that's the hand or tongue work.
MartiOan 8
"Just like your prostate" is what you should have said.
TigrexTeeth 16
YDI that wouldn't have happened if you followed the unwritten laws of men's restroom etiquette.
bris_63 18
YDI for peeing in the next stall over. Never. Do. It.
MoroseMoose 47
What if that's the only unoccupied one?!
MoroseMoose 47
I'm sure he was just messing with you!