Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML
Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML
Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
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Top comments
maryiah 21
At least he gave you hope.
iazy9 14
Anything is better than my 3 inch slanger.
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Comments (86)
Feveryoneslife13 11
The FML states OP started next to the guy, so he was already there. But even as a girl, I know it's weird to go right next to a guy. Most likely it was the last place open
skyeyez9 25
Maybe OP is a kid and his penis is normal sized, but since he is young its obviously not gonna be the size of a grown man's. Also if he is young, that guy is a pervert for staring at a young boy's dick.
kthsdm 12
I read it as "he whispered.. it'll grow"
RedPillSucks 33
as he wrapped his hand around it, stroking slowing, then saying "shhh, you're ok"
pedinhuh 23
You should have replied: "Don't worry, mine still works on it's own."
jackaced 7
He was implying that he has a giant willy. Don't be fooled
brittyed 11
I don't want to know why he even decided to have a look.
lininnes 6
No worry OP, to my experience, Mid-aged may have bigger-looking penises but they can't get much longer when they get hard, which ability they are losing as well....
kumonsucks 7
Hah just where your from it looks like virgin.
theworldismad 10
I don't think urinals grow...
RedPillSucks 33
That's when you respond "Your daughter made it grow last night". Make sure to run.