Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML
Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML
Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
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Top comments
maryiah 21
At least he gave you hope.
iazy9 14
Anything is better than my 3 inch slanger.
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Comments (86)
sassy2085 16
Ouch and mega bitchy
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
LoL, that was petty but a nice burn
interesting33 37
He probably was trolling you and could have said it to anyone.
MattieJH 12
Aw, OP don't take it too hard. Maybe you're just a grower, not a show-er.
Ameel_fml 19
Don't worry, OP. Many men have small penises when they are flaccid that grow to a perfectly normal length when erect.
Mr_Loudmouth 9
I noticed OP said middle aged man. This could imply that OP is still young. Possibly a teenager. therefore the commenter was indeed correct in his assumption. It can/will grow. Still creepy as hell though.
perdix 31
Worry, it won't.
Saikon1357 25
Better question, why did OP take the urinal next to someone else?
Just_A_Girl_92 2
Don't worry about it OP! It's not the size that matters, but what you can achieve with it. ;)
Scynistr 20
First and foremost.. Alway leave a stall between you and the next person. Second.. Always stare at the wall in front of you. There can be no eye contact in any way. Last. Do not talk. Just do your business and get out. Or just take a stall..