Today, I was yelled at by my mum for not wanting to get a spray tan for my cousin's wedding because if I don't, I will "shine like a beacon of disrespect" among the other attendees. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML
Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML
Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML
Today, my best friend told me that I wasn't invited to her wedding, saying that I was too pretty and that I would outshine her at the ceremony. I laughed and said that she was being ridiculous. She eventually confessed the real reason why I wasn't invited: apparently I'm an annoying bitch. FML
Today, I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding, but she doesn’t want me in the photos because I’m over a foot taller than her and the other bridesmaids, and it will look silly in the photos. I told her I won’t even bother attending, and mom actually took her side. FML
Today, my best friend informed me that I could not be her maid of honour because I "wasn't as pretty as the other bridesmaids" and she wanted her wedding photos to have "consistency". FML
Today, I went to visit my overly-posh mother for the first time in many years. Upon arrival, she kicked me out because my outfit did not follow the same color-scheme as her decor. FML
Today, my mom spent an hour lecturing me on how I'm a doormat who lets people walk all over me, and that I needed to be more assertive. So I stood up and told my dad, no, I am not going on that forestry camp he wants me to go to. Mom sat silently by as he screamed and grounded me for the entire summer. FML
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Top comments
L3Paparazzo 7
its okay not to look like a Oompa Loompa :P
artc91 0
Wow, i really can't figure out why that matters.
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Comments (195)
iceskull11 0
it's MOM not MUM dunbass
odexy 12
Dunbass? Really?
ugliness 6
it's mum in the UK you also spelt dumb-ass wrong have a nice day
Bogrollbloke 4
FYL, also stupid yank r-tards. Typical example of the fact that they don't acknowledge other countries. Screw your sidewalks aye?
LilysTillie 7
Wow...if that's the worst part of your life, you've got things pretty darn good!
art_4_life 1
is the wedding in jersey?
ElZamo 0
I f you haven't noticed, this guy is FML's biggest troll, he always cements every FML like this no matter how stupid the situation no matter if OP is right. this guy laughs at u for ur angry comments.
kittennn 0
don't worry you'll be the only classy one there ;)
Shawn_Tizzle20 4
Not another gypsy wedding!
Rogers5qj 0
too many damn people fake and bake now it's disgusting
NecroParade 3
Yes, we all understand trolling. Sadly (I love to see a good troll), there has been only one angry comment so far... And that was 81, who was on Boners' side.
wriptidez 0
ur mom is weird