By Madmanmorton - 16/06/2011 18:34 - United States

Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman. At least I know I made it home safely. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 145
You deserved it 47 282

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Could have been worse! It could have been a beast of a man!!

shameless58 0

with herpes and a head full of regrets!


JetLifeNextLife 0

that's probably a really disturbing sight to look at..

Idonebeenhad 17
iSitt 0

"You'll get no sympathy from me" - Ike

Don't worry op, an awkward morning is always better than a boring night! :)

MissBunnyWillEat 11

Don't lie to yourself, OP. She rocked your world.

dernsaw 0

Nothing more satisfying than climbing over her huge body to check your alarm clock.

she probably picked u up, and had u dangling by ur ankles, swinging u back and forth

olpally 32

more like.. yikes!! I'd run the hell out of there... lmao.. that's crazy shit op!!

daltyboy 0

I wud be very happy OP unless if u had a girlfriend thts a whole different story

daltyboy 0

excus my comment I didn't read clearly I thought it said breast

a_nutritionist 10

i think the fml is for waking up with someone like you. you **** random women who you dont find attractive because youre too drunk to know any better, then bitch about it on the internet to strangers...yeah, **** her life for sleeping with someone that pathetic.

I interpreted this FML as him cleverly implying that he woke up next to his wife after a night of drinking.

a_nutritionist 10

ah good call. if thats true then touche to him. if not, my previous comment stands.

You get what you deserve when you get drunk OP. Too bad no ever learns this until after.

You don't look at the mantlepiece when stoking the fire so don't sweat it be happy you got some.

Not a big deal.. fatties need love too. Just roll her up in flour, and aim it for the wet spot!

drunkinstl 0

I wanna go to bunny land :(

heroqucas 25

46- I read it in Ike's voice before seeing that you had actually quoted him

shameless58 0

with herpes and a head full of regrets!

sweetcheeksjvl 0

exactly...hopefully OP wore a condom if not he will have little beasts and/or an STD.

LaDeeDaDeeDaLaLi 0

he's got a BEAST OF BURDEN!!!!!!!!

Could have been worse! It could have been a beast of a man!!

Takador 3

I wouldnt mind waking up with Hugh Jackman/Wolverine...

Oh what do you know, Mr. Boflex? heh. just kidding.

@SpeakingMyMind... your name is ironic cause you said your very quiet lol

@ 157, 169 - What's the point of even commenting when you can't think of any thing more interesting to say other than "Haha"? It shows how boring you are, you know.

Omg check if ur manhood hasnt been stolen and taken to be used as a *****! Thats what happened to my bro.. Sad sad story..

Your brother's manhood was stolen to make a ***** after a drunken one night stand with a beastly woman? Sorry I think I missed that FML.

muselover23 0, well that sounds dreadfully awkward.

so does that mean you have a sister now?

at least u didn't wake up on a love couch in a strange house with a drunk guy trying to cuddle with you without any pants

it happens more often than you'd like.

Seems like firsthand experience there, #10

hotair10 9

sounds like you know all about this subject 10

Quite a vivid imagination you have there... heh.

Quest_ 13

YDI for calling a woman a beast (and not in the good way), prick.

Quest_ 13

I know, your mum told me last night.

on a lighter note, johnnyredcorn is gorgeous...

Yes we should all be kind, but some woman are not beautiful

Yes lets made generalizations about women’s beauty for everyone because beauty is definitely objective, right? PS Studies have shown that way more men enjoy bigger bodied women than previously thought, but they keep it secret because hey, being open about that would involve having balls. Because the only way to get that status is by having a starved-looking girlfriend. Smh

wondabitch 0

The question is... was she any good?

If he doesn't remember her from last night, he won't remember if she was any good...