Today, I was yelled at by my mum for not wanting to get a spray tan for my cousin's wedding because if I don't, I will "shine like a beacon of disrespect" among the other attendees. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML
Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML
Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML
Today, my best friend told me that I wasn't invited to her wedding, saying that I was too pretty and that I would outshine her at the ceremony. I laughed and said that she was being ridiculous. She eventually confessed the real reason why I wasn't invited: apparently I'm an annoying bitch. FML
Today, I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding, but she doesn’t want me in the photos because I’m over a foot taller than her and the other bridesmaids, and it will look silly in the photos. I told her I won’t even bother attending, and mom actually took her side. FML
Today, my best friend informed me that I could not be her maid of honour because I "wasn't as pretty as the other bridesmaids" and she wanted her wedding photos to have "consistency". FML
Today, I went to visit my overly-posh mother for the first time in many years. Upon arrival, she kicked me out because my outfit did not follow the same color-scheme as her decor. FML
Today, my mom spent an hour lecturing me on how I'm a doormat who lets people walk all over me, and that I needed to be more assertive. So I stood up and told my dad, no, I am not going on that forestry camp he wants me to go to. Mom sat silently by as he screamed and grounded me for the entire summer. FML
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Top comments
L3Paparazzo 7
its okay not to look like a Oompa Loompa :P
artc91 0
Wow, i really can't figure out why that matters.
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Comments (195)
susie_spiff 0
they got bad tans and you look good. they just jealous!
liy223 6
beacon of disrespect? ten points for originality. minus twenty for thinking your appearance pertains in any way to someone elses pride.
brandib75 14
Here's my question: does the BRIDE care? because 1) if she doesn't then why the hell does your mom? and 2) if she does then she's a total bridezilla and go with not doing it just to see her rampage. lol
breeisdope 4
LMFAO !! (x
YourMomxD 8
My mom bought a spray tan thingy and tested it out on my ENTIRE leg. Only one leg. I made her wait 30mins so I can wash alllllllllll of it off.
rhiannon26 0
what a load of crap, just because you'd rather not look like a tangerine
MeBeYourFriend 0
why do people say mum? its MOM! God.
jennyc28 1
Because 140, mum or mummy is widely used in the UK and that is where the OP is from. Mom or Mommy is used in a few areas but it is largely considered an American term. Also, if you go to certain areas up north, or in most of Ireland, mam or mammy is used instead.
Jasonf6 0
So, your mom is an idiot and the wedding will be full of image retards and high maintenance people.
DaddyFatSacks 0
Ydi for spelling mom wrong.
letsgetouttahere 3
OP is from the UK and here we say mum, not mom. Mom is an American slang.