Money: Today, I found out that the $200 a week I was paying my dad for... - FML

By thankspops - 29/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I found out that the $200 a week I was paying my dad for my car insurance and payment, wasn't actually paying my insurance and car payment. How did I find out he wasn't paying? Repo man took my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 565

You deserved it 3 304

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

Late term

Masterchef 2020

By beautifulme - 31/01/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 071

You deserved it 4 863

Hangry

By JoanT - 20/10/2020 11:08

Today, while petting one of the goats we have, the other one was jealous so it ripped out a chunk of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 176

By Me - 26/11/2011 23:10 - United States

Today, my neighbors coated their house in flashing Christmas lights and blared out "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" all day long. Only 29 days left until Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 484

You deserved it 3 339

By jeffnn - 24/12/2016 04:18 - United States - Melbourne

Today, while building a gingerbread house with my two kids, they thought it would be funny to pee on it while I wasn't looking. Nobody noticed until my wife ate one of the pee-covered gingerbread men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 184

You deserved it 959

By Anonymous - 24/01/2012 20:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, I didn't have plans on shaving my pubic hair. My girlfriend's braces thought otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 650

You deserved it 39 995

By Anonymous - 17/08/2012 13:31 - United States - Newberry

Spicy

Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 267

You deserved it 6 853

By Hatemyjobbb - 01/05/2018 19:00

Today, my boss had me walk a mile to the nearest store to get food for a party because she didn't want to lose her parking space at work. Her shopping list had two gallons of juice and a 10lb bag of ice... I had my legs and arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 848

You deserved it 391

By Username - 10/10/2011 03:30 - United States

Today, a highly intoxicated man came into my workplace and complained that the medicine that I'd prescribed for his dog almost choked him. I work at Blockbuster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 606

You deserved it 2 585

By coeurdlucky - 19/10/2010 05:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to see his 72-year-old mom who just had minor surgery on her abdomen. When we asked how she was healing, she lifted up her nightgown to show us a bruise near her belly button. She wasn't wearing any underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 124

You deserved it 3 559

Suspicious Minds

By Kelly - 29/11/2016 18:57

Today, I discovered that my 17-year-old daughter received several weird deposits from Paypal. I checked her phone to discover that she had changed the password for the first time in years. Fearing drugs, I confronted her. She broke down and confessed to selling rare digital Pokemon on eBay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 713

You deserved it 2 391

By Sonotsuave - 17/05/2019 01:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I rushed home after my mom called saying our upstairs had flooded. Apparently, my little brother somehow broke the toilet while unsupervised and water overflowed everywhere. It even reached my closet, shoes, and books, and everything touching my floor in my room is now wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 750

You deserved it 119

By elo - 20/12/2008 05:50 - France

Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told me he was the best friend of the handsome guy I was hitting on yesterday evening. I can't remember at which point I got mislead into bringing the wrong one home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 889

You deserved it 32 308

By Mith - 04/02/2009 10:56 - Poland

Today, in biology class, I kept seeing a fly mosquito buzzing past my face and I kept trying to swat at it... only to realize that it was a ceiling sprinkler that was about 10 feet away. I have no depth perception. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 328

You deserved it 17 949

By tootles - 22/05/2009 20:08 - United States

Today, I was kicked out of my parents house. I was sleeping in my truck bed because I had nowhere to go. I awoke to a "beep beep beep" noise. I was being towed while sleeping in the truck bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 817

You deserved it 6 220

By Anonymous - 28/11/2009 05:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 502

You deserved it 6 702

By whatashame - 01/04/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 398

You deserved it 80 123

Wait, what?

By The Bosnian - 15/10/2020 02:02 - Sweden - Solna

Today, after I applied and interviewed for a technical position in IT two weeks ago, they informed me that I didn't get it, because I'm "too technical." How the hell is that even possible? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 79

By Anonymous - 08/05/2015 21:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 945

You deserved it 2 863

By fuck the fucking cops - 16/03/2012 18:41 - Belgium

Today, I was on the bus, when the inspector asked to see my ticket. I couldn't find it, and ended up being kicked off the bus while a few of the other passengers jeered at me. I found my ticket on the long walk home, buried in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 820

You deserved it 4 774

Dating is hell

By Anonymous - 14/08/2021 17:00 - Turkey - Eskisehir

Today, I'd been talking to this girl for 3 months, and she finally agreed on a date. We got drinks and food, then she said, "I'm just going to the bathroom", then never came back, and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 102

By patrick - 17/03/2010 16:15 - United States

Today, it's Saint Patrick's Day and the nicest day of the year so far. I'm spending it in the bathroom, puking up the sushi I'd eaten last night. The luck of the Irish can't help me on this one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 962

You deserved it 5 223

By Crossy - 23/08/2009 06:54 - Australia

Today, a friend jokingly asked who in my relationship wears the pants. My girlfriend replied, "I'm not sure, but I've got photos to prove I don't wear the skirt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 529

You deserved it 36 539

By burnedboy - 18/01/2010 19:39 - United States

Today, I saw Avatar in iMax 3D. Towards the end of the movie I jump, yelled, and spilled my drink all over the people in front of me because I thought a burning piece of ash landed on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 597

You deserved it 44 481

User manual

By Drewzter - 11/01/2010 03:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that pinching the tip of the condom before you roll it down to the base is NOT a suggestion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 924

You deserved it 26 299

By ohgodwhyfml - 28/11/2015 14:32 - United States - Danbury

Spicy

Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 801

You deserved it 3 173

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 16:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 292

You deserved it 2 681

By Nick - 06/08/2013 14:44 - Australia - Baulkham Hills

Today, I dragged myself to work, suffering from a bad cold. My boss quietly told me to go home and rest, to avoid spreading it around the office. I thought it odd since he dislikes me so much, but I did as he said. He called later in the day to suspend me for leaving work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 095

You deserved it 3 561

By WitchQueenLiz - 28/06/2009 08:25 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. Normally, the little office I work in throws a big party for every employee on their special day, but nothing was done for me, not even a "Happy Birthday" came my way. I didn't want to be rude, so I stayed silent. They didn't do anything because I was getting laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 651

You deserved it 3 140

By PrincessCrippled - 18/05/2018 15:00

Today, a close friend tried to kill me by running me over with her car. Why? Because I didn't want to share the pain meds I had due to a third-degree burn. My leg is now broken in 3 places, my ankle is shattered, and I have to use a walker because I'm too clumsy for crutches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 019

You deserved it 300

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 05:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 179

You deserved it 13 132

By waiterrrrrrrrr - 02/08/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I was working my shift at a fancy restaurant and it had been a really hard day. My parents came in to have dinner and surprise me. After paying, they left a note saying they would see me at home. It also said "By the way, no tip, because you stink at serving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 759

You deserved it 6 961

Merry Christmas

By Jules - 23/12/2020 11:01 - Germany

Today, I'm unemployed and just had to move. My country’s unemployment agency considers that the ideal moment to invite me for a talk about my job search activities is smack dab in the middle of Christmas vacation, while I’m still busy unpacking moving boxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 142

#ForeverAlone

By WithoutLove - 30/08/2011 05:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to a love life is organizing my porn folder by category. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 646

You deserved it 32 948

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 03:08 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, my sister used my mobile phone to call her boyfriend who is married with children. His wife found my number on his phone and thinks that I am my sister. Since then, she has been calling me non-stop, calling me a 'prostitute' each time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 010

You deserved it 5 407

By Wow. Really? - 29/04/2013 18:07 - United States - Columbus

Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 740

You deserved it 3 999

By dwellswithin - 20/07/2009 22:00 - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend in town. We broke up a year ago because he "moved" to Florida. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 403

You deserved it 4 529

By Idiot on the bus - 25/03/2017 12:00

Today, I saw a beautiful girl on the bus. Struck up a good conversation, walked with her all the way to my office. Forgot to ask her name and number. This is the second time I've done this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 100

You deserved it 1 541

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 07:26 - United States - Blair

Today, I found out that the only reason I'm alive is because my dad beat the living shit out of my mom to stop her getting an abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 188

You deserved it 1 867

By Anonymous - 27/10/2009 10:28 - United Kingdom

Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for 'anti-social behavior'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 536

You deserved it 2 918

Proud

By Anonymous - 16/07/2016 12:31

Today, I found a "White Power" bumper sticker on the back of my car. I don't know what idiot thought it'd be funny to put it there, but now my neighbors think I'm a proud racist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 611

You deserved it 1 008

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Top comments

ladycoyote107 0

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Thursday 30 September 2010 9:15

Wow. Father of the year. I'm so sorry, op. F your life indeed. :(

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Thursday 30 September 2010 9:16

Well, now you know to never ever trust your father again, darling!~

Comments

ladycoyote107 0

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Thursday 30 September 2010 9:15

Wow. Father of the year. I'm so sorry, op. F your life indeed. :(

Marvin_Android 0

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Thursday 30 September 2010 9:31

Sounds dreadful. One simply can't trust anybody, especially those close to them. But your father probably did you a favor in the long run; the sooner you learn that awful lesson, the better off you are. Owning a car is pointless in the grand scheme of things anyway, just like anything else you will ever do. Life. Don't talk to me about life.

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Thursday 30 September 2010 10:24

pops can get sued for mishandling your affairs bro get at him in a court of law

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Thursday 30 September 2010 14:05

So operation Repo team took your car huh? lol did you get beat up by Matt?!?!

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Thursday 30 September 2010 15:59

lol android

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Sunday 3 July 2011 23:03

I don't think anyone here notices it's OP's fault. $200...per WEEK? Car insurance is paid every 6 months and payment is 1 month. OP's fault.

mfjkr 10

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Thursday 12 January 2012 16:20

If you want things done..better to do it yourself.

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Thursday 30 September 2010 9:16

Well, now you know to never ever trust your father again, darling!~

fyourlife1991 0

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Thursday 30 September 2010 9:50

where do you think all the new porn channels came from?

lovereadingfml 2

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Thursday 30 September 2010 9:20

urmmm... sorry to hear that, mate. agree with mirorbo, never trust your father anymore!

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Thursday 30 September 2010 9:22

Damn JAM recovery.

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Thursday 30 September 2010 9:23

he sounds Like an asshole. fyl man

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Thursday 30 September 2010 9:27

Maybe he's using that money to buy you an even better car!! ... but that's highly unlikely.

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Thursday 30 September 2010 21:09

that's just cold as ice

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Thursday 30 September 2010 9:27

Repo! :D

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Thursday 30 September 2010 9:29

Yuck.. I've stories like these before. It definitely sucks because the repo company and/or car company has no care in the world what goes on. If they aren't getting the installment regardless what's going on, the consumer is definitely eff'd! Sorry OP!!

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Thursday 30 September 2010 9:30

ive heard** stories.... Forgot the most important word! lol

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Thursday 30 September 2010 9:29

That'd be awesome if you were on Repo..

erik02gutierrez 0

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Thursday 30 September 2010 9:30

$200 a week for car insurance? That's a lot man. I pay $131 a month for mine lol

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Thursday 30 September 2010 9:33

well he said car insurance and the car note. I'm guess the majority of that goes to the note. either that or he's a young driver with a fast car. either way. FYL

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Thursday 30 September 2010 9:34

it was insurance + car payments, so the amount makes a bit of sense.

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Thursday 30 September 2010 9:57

read the damn fml, nipple boy. put that shirt down, dumbass!

Nearly

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20

You deserved it 3

Today, I found out my mother listens to my therapy sessions. She’s the reason I need therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 1

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 107

Today, I’d been bicurious for years but always much too shy to seek out a woman to attempt intimacy. Well, I finally hooked up with a girl I’ve had a crush on for a while. Not only was it an amazing, mind-blowing experience, she also left me with a crotch searing yeast infection from hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 291