By GodDamnFan - United States
Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my phone ringing. As I groggily reached for it I managed to knock my fan onto my head, leaving a grate-shaped bruise. The best part? My phone wasn't ringing, I dreamed myself awake. FML
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By  poolshark  |  0

This made me think of Mitch Hedberg's fan bit:
"I've got an oscillating fan at my house. The fan goes back and forth. It looks like the fan is saying "No". So I like to ask it questions that a fan would say no to. "Do you keep my hair in place?... Do you keep my documents in order?... Do you have three settings? Liar!"

(Do you leave grate shaped bruises? Do you attack me while I am half asleep? Do you make a whirring sound that could be mistaken for my phone ringing?)

"My fan fucking lied to me. Now I will pull the pin up. Now you ain't sayin' shit."

By  emer_helena  |  0

Where was your fan that you managed to hit yourself on the head with it so hard you got a bruise?

That does suck though. The only thing worse than waking up too early is waking up for no reason

By  fyrtiosexarton  |  12

i actually was woken by my phone ringing. it was my dad's female friend's boyfriend (who thought dad and his friend is getting it on) and he was calling to yell at him. at 2 am!
and the next day i had TWO physics test i had to re-take.