Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was alone in the car with my grandma for five hours while she told me all about the multiple bladder infections she's had in the past year. FML
Today, my granny called me to, "Come change me please, I just peed." I interrupted what I was doing, walked over to her bed, pulled down her covers and was just about to go for the pad when she said, "Actually... I'm still peeing. Come back in a couple of minutes." FML
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
Today, I had to piss really bad, so we stopped at a gas station. I guess I had to pee so bad that I didn't think to check the PUBLIC toilet. My mom went in after me and when she got back in the car, she asked me if I'd pooped, which I hadn't, then she told me that the seat was covered in it. Actual shit. FML
Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML
Today, while on a road trip, I stopped at a gas station and told my kids to go to the restroom. My youngest daughter said, "I had to go earlier, but not anymore." FML
Today, I offered to drive my girlfriend's grandpa to the doctor. I thus learned my girlfriend's grandfather has a colostomy bag when it burst all over the inside of my truck. FML
Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML
Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML
Today, while driving my son and his friend home, I was so frantic to pee, I was bouncing up and down in my seat. I stopped and ran into a store but it was too late. There was a line and I made it 11 seconds. I was radiating heat from the humiliation of walking past dozens of people after peeing my pants. I even apologized. FML
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Top comments
ScaughtieHolden 11
Well I hope she was at least wearing a diaper.
cheekyterier 13
I'll bet you were pissed. That's shitty. Come at me, bro.
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Comments (118)
ebonyirony 29
I did NOT mean to comment more than once; my Internet ****** up while posting. Sorry, guys. Hopefully a moderator can fix this.
DoubleCross 9
Aw poor gramps! Don't get mad at her im sure she feels really bad and will cry if you do. Don't make grandma cry! You don't have her forever OP
rsunshine2020 13
Hey better in than out, I always say.
rsunshine2020 13
Out than in!!!! I meant better out than in!! Lol
saIty 17
That's why I taught my grandparents to do their business with their bums hanging out the window.
greenalleycat 4
Wouldn't that make them pee straight back inside the car and onto you..?
Zedd_fml 8
Not unless you are sitting on the backseat.
Mischief109 11
Make her walk.
TwentyFourXXIV 13
Would you honestly do that to an elderly lady? It gets harder to walk as you get older if you didn't realize that asshole.
b_rad_fml 4
Which means the lesson will be better remembered for the pain!
ladylilly25 20
Maybe she is getting a bit old for rational decisions....
outoftown 27
Maybe a sense of humor runs in OP's family.
loginword123 0
Today, my cat was acting very affectionate and rubbing her mouth against my face. It made me forget that I watched her eat a mouse this morning. FML
SkoomaKi 28
Everyone to the NOPE car! Looks like when it comes to your car, no one is going to call shotgun, you'll be in the front by yourself.
perdix 31
Luckily, post-menopausal old lady pee has the same aroma as New Car Smell, so you got lucky there. Hope you sprung for leather and didn't cheap out for cloth seats.
saintsrocksocks 10
Why were you down voted?! This comments hilarious!
perdix 31
Thank you. It looks like you saved my bacon, but are taking the down thumbs for it. I feel like Whitney Houston in "The Bodyguard." If you get buried, I won't forget you, Kevin Costner.