Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was alone in the car with my grandma for five hours while she told me all about the multiple bladder infections she's had in the past year. FML
Today, my granny called me to, "Come change me please, I just peed." I interrupted what I was doing, walked over to her bed, pulled down her covers and was just about to go for the pad when she said, "Actually... I'm still peeing. Come back in a couple of minutes." FML
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
Today, I had to piss really bad, so we stopped at a gas station. I guess I had to pee so bad that I didn't think to check the PUBLIC toilet. My mom went in after me and when she got back in the car, she asked me if I'd pooped, which I hadn't, then she told me that the seat was covered in it. Actual shit. FML
Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML
Today, while on a road trip, I stopped at a gas station and told my kids to go to the restroom. My youngest daughter said, "I had to go earlier, but not anymore." FML
Today, I offered to drive my girlfriend's grandpa to the doctor. I thus learned my girlfriend's grandfather has a colostomy bag when it burst all over the inside of my truck. FML
Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML
Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML
Today, while driving my son and his friend home, I was so frantic to pee, I was bouncing up and down in my seat. I stopped and ran into a store but it was too late. There was a line and I made it 11 seconds. I was radiating heat from the humiliation of walking past dozens of people after peeing my pants. I even apologized. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ScaughtieHolden 11
Well I hope she was at least wearing a diaper.
cheekyterier 13
I'll bet you were pissed. That's shitty. Come at me, bro.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (118)
Ozuru 11
Next time, when you get in the car for a trip, ask her to kindly tell you 10 minutes before shes got to go bad so you can find somewhere for her.
Ins0mau 20
A lot of elderly people don't get 10 minutes warning THEMSELVES. The body gets kind of uncooperative as you age.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
She gave birth to one of your parents so let it go. When you get old you don't have as much physical control as used to. Whatever you do don't make her feel anymore self-conscious about it than she already is.
lonelyharts86 8
My neice did that to me once. But I think 4 year old pee is less gross than 80 year old pee. Hope the cleaning doesn't cost too much.
Axipiter 24
I before E, except AFTER C.
hockeyoceancity 13
Or K, like as in Keith.
rahrah765765 11
Neighbor, protein, vein, veil, their, weight, weird...
alissa222 15
I before e except after C, or when sounding like A as in neighbor or weigh. There, all better.
childishfears 12
Somebody needs some depends
whostolemylama 12
You cannot blame her. She cannot hold it in at her age. But I agree that your life is fudged. I hope it comes out!
DRush_fml 12
I think it's time to invest in depends...
kimg0885 23
Damn she ruined that wonderful new car smell!
andiewithlove 21
Stay calm. Get Frebreze.
olpally 33
Time for a serious car wash or consider buying a new car... That's one smell I don't think will ever go away. Like in that Seinfeld episode with that jacket Jerry wore and it made the car smell like ass... Haha. Fyl.
b_rad_fml 4
Next stop Walmart for large box of incontinence briefs for Grandma!