Today, I was watching TV on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because, "the dog can't see the TV." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was sitting in my room watching TV when I heard my mother obnoxiously yelling for the dog. Minutes later she stomped into my room, swatted me over the head, and yelled at me for not answering when she called. She actually got my name mixed up with the dog's. FML
Today, after watching TV, my boyfriend and I had to go walk our dog. I was too lazy to get up from the couch immediately so I teased him by turning off all the (smart) lights using my phone. He got mad and went upstairs to continue watching TV, so now I have to walk the dog alone. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML
Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML
Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML
Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML
Today, my mom was in a really bad mood, so I stayed in my room to avoid her. It didn't take long before she barged in and started bitching about my dog, who'd pissed her off by acting too happy. Yes, she's actually that insane, and I have to deal with it on a daily basis. FML
Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I stayed in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML
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Top comments
BKF 0
LMAO! But seriously, FYL your Mom's a bitch.
NGM_KID 0
Well, what makes you think you're more important than her dog? lol jk!! Your mom is such a bitch!!
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Comments (199)
xChrista1xx 0
it better be a gawd damn special dog! FYI
cthulhu1138 1
That's the point where you go into another room and read a book.
boatiebanter 0
Sever all ties with the bitch as soon as possible. Some people are just completely disrespectful scum.
Jurassic_Jess 0
That is something my mom would do. lol
palmtrees 1
#52 she could have inherited the money from her parents... or she could have a high-paying job, just because she's weird/has issues about prioritizing her dog over her kid doesn't mean that she's incompetent in all aspects of life. Also, I believe the word you were looking for was "except", not "accept". Thank you #40, I'm glad somebody pointed that out quickly.
AnimalCollective_fml 0
lmaoo funny shit
roflwaffle21 0
dude you should just flat out bitch to her...dont let the dog take over your mothers life
Light_Ty 0
Hopefully she was just trying to be "funny"? XP
FFPianoDude 2
what a bitch!
tje210_fml 0
bitch