Today, I was walking to bed in fancy panties and a tight black tank top. My husband exclaimed, "This is the best part about being a grown up!" He was talking about the ice cream he was eating in bed. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML
Today, after giving my kids a lengthy bedtime lecture about the merits of being responsible, I thought about all the chores I had left to do, promptly ate ice cream in the shower, and went to bed. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of Doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the Doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML
Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room. My husband took one look at me, let out a heavy sigh and said, "Right now?" FML
Today, I got dressed up in lingerie for my boyfriend. He looked at me, said, "Nice," then went back to watching TV and drinking beer. FML
Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML
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Top comments
bcoolplz 1
i love ice cream too
Doortje 30
Just say you have something else for him to eat.
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Comments (129)
marinus_fml 20
Ice-cream is overrated.
rockyraccoon28 8
I'm going to pretend I didn't just read this.
tanjoodo 3
Commenting 101 Dear number 72, if you want to pretend you didn't just read a comment, you don't reply to it.
connormadden 5
it's a joke asshole. man I'm gonna pretend I didnt read this
boopityboppity 11
He must have just finished a good book. One written, in fact, by the great author, Bill Bryson. “I had always thought that once you grew up you could do anything you wanted -- stay up all night or eat ice-cream straight out of the container.” -From "The Lost Continent" by Bill Bryson If this is the source of his inspiration, I commend your husband.
TheNeidermayer 0
And how likely is that?
JManHobbs 0
Should be pretty likely, Bryson is so good he's practically mandatory reading.
allmidnighteyes 11
"Today, my husband is still young at heart and appreciates the little things. FML"
fthku 13
Well, OP wasn't really saying her husband sucks because of what he said, she was just disappointed at the fact she was trying to look sexy for him and he "didn't notice" her- Though that's something women tend to think a lot when it is not true at all. I'm a guy and therefore I'm usually biased and try to defend the guys in the story, but there's just way too much lack of information here to know anything and I'm actually leaning towards the wife. It's disappointing when you try to dress up (or whatever) and your spouse doesn't even noticeget into it at the moment, that's all.
purple_sarah88 0
Then why didn't he appreciate the 'little things' like his wife making an effort to dress up for him! She clearly feels unappreciated and that may have been going on for a while so this is just the last little thing that makes it an FML. That she feels ignored by someone who is supposed to adore her is the FML here, in case you missed it. And ignoring your wife for ice cream is just immature, there is a time to be young at heart and a time to grow up!
rasta_pasta 4
If you're interrupting a person whilst they're eating don't be surprised if they ignore you.
purple_sarah88 0
He was eating in bed though, it's not like she jumped on the dinner table lol. Maybe she just walked into the bedroom trying to be romantic and didn't expect him to be snacking. It's more like the eating was interrupting something else they could be doing in bed!
allmidnighteyes 11
Or, you know, he's not always in the mood for sexing :P
rasta_pasta 4
Does it really matter if he's doing it in bed? Just because you're wearing something sexy does not mean the other person is or even should drop what they're doing to please you.
thegoodlife101 0
mmmmmmm
MileyCyrusIsHot 5
your In one of those movies were the little kid wishes to be a grown up!!
tanjoodo 3
Really? I....mean...really? Miley Cyrus is hot? No shit, Sherlock.
mintcar 10
Ice-cream is ******* awesome! Especially cookie dough.
hollowaybrady34 6
Nice my favorite ice cream is cookie dough also. (almost typed douche.) Cookies "N" cream is the bomb also.
purple_sarah88 0
I love ice cream! But I prefer sex!
letslivelife 0
dog gone forget the ice cream; listen I would of been all over u in matter of mili seconds; cuz I know I can have ice cream later; having those moments are rarer than the ability to get ice cream; see I wish I had those moments;
Anteezy 7
You need to get laid, talking about being all over some woman you have never even seen. And stop abusing the semicolon what did he ever do to you?
Jizwold 0
he's obviously young give em a break
amelioration_fml 0
I guess your marriage has hit a rocky road. better follow the moose tracks to get out alive.
enoughgrace 4
yeah OP, he Mint it.
bonesbaby 0
Lmao.
kitzstiz 0
lmao
perdix 31
Ice cream > Pussy In your case, at least. Try shaving your shit and covering it with chocolate sauce and whipped cream and see how he deals with that. Yeah, the cherry's at the bottom ;)
McMan 23
Perdix man, you're the sole reason I never eat while reading FML comments. :P
ehaile4 0
lmfao pedix is funny but 26 I agree dude
happyhak 5
I sense double standards here...So, this is an FML because a guy doesn't want to have sex? Ha ha. No FML here, just a bitchy wife and a guy who loves hi ice cream...