By Anonymous - 27/07/2012 19:26 - United Kingdom - Gorebridge

Today, I was walking home from work, when a clearly homeless guy who smelled like Jimmy Hoffa's colon grabbed me, pinned me to a wall, and demanded that I hand over my "booty". I don't know whether or not I was mugged by Jack Sparrow, but either way, he's now over £100 richer. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 521
You deserved it 2 429
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Docbee 11
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You're lucky he wanted your money and not the other type of booty

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Redoxx_fml 22

Why is the rum always gone?

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Docbee 11
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You're lucky he wanted your money and not the other type of booty

372 4
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cheefer 0
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He was clearly asking for anal.

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Meettitan 14
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That's CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow!

78 1
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hama806 19
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He had me at "Jimmy Hoffa colon." Too funny. But I hope you weren't too scarred by this experience OP.

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pillowsarecomfy 2

What are the odds you misunderstood this homeless guy......

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winnerme123 8

He wanted the money to pay for the other type of booty.

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sens3sfailing 24
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He supports the missionary's position.

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AKGirlinSD 20
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Maybe the wanna be pirate, robber, wanted both booties but only got one. Jail/prison will give him plenty of the other kind of booty and his will be up for grabs as well ;-).

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alshygirl 14

This is off topic but 1- your profile pic gave be nightmares

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Redoxx_fml 22

Why is the rum always gone?

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CurlyGurlF 6

Favorite line!

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Hiimhaileypotter 52

I find Jack Sparrow oddly attractive. Is it just me? It probably is just me :P

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jetsown08 21
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Well after that mugger has £100 more, there'll be more rum coming!

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Judahsh 8
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Johnny Depp 31. Your not the only one

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GaleIsHawt 5
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31 - you definitely are not the only one! I love me some johnny depp

24 1
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Dixbfloppin 11
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I threw it all into the ocean.

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Felling 14
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Definitely not just you haha.

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mduffy08 8

I really hate that monkey...

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whosindahouse 9
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Johnny Depp lost his virginity at age 13.

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99megster 15
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86- really?! How do you even know that

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love_isnt_enough 15
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CAPTAIN. It's Captain Jack Sparrow!

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dheunwj 3

Lol

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corinnipoo 2
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There should be a "Captain" in there somewhere. ;) And Johnny is MINE. :P

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boarder540 12

Sounds like a smart homeless man to me...

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Death_Hoe_Inn 10
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Theft is never smart

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mduffy08 8

If he was smart, he probably wouldn't be homeless.

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TriflingAllDay 6

I would'nt say never.

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jjessen 20
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OP shoulda beat the shit outta that dude. Shoulda gone kungfuiy on his ass

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Zatheria 1

You've smelled Jimmy Hoffa's colon?

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Redoxx_fml 22

Sea turtles, mate

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GoArmy57 7
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Who hasn't smelled his colon?

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im_too_pro 2
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I was slightly concerned myself, but a little impressed

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NOOBSQUAD 0
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I am very curious about what his colon smells like, if it smells like mine I'll be pissed.

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eBall07 2
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Do y'all not know how to spell "cologne"? Lol

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MissEmma_fml 22
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Wow! I wonder if his colon smells the same as his comma...

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Stix89 2
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For some reason when I was reading the FML I glazed over the fact that it read colon instead of cologne. That is until I got to this comment. What does Jimmy Hoffa's COLOGNE smell like?

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MURIKKA 11
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At least he didn't make you tell him where the buried treasure is.

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Axipiter 24
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Or still IS...

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CoolBroStory 7
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This made me think of the Boondocks.

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Xythenol 6
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"My booty is mine, it belongs to me. You cannot have my booty!"

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jaxv95 7
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" I came fo booty, a mans butt Now i likes ya, n i wants ya So we can do this the easy or we can do this the hard way? ...the choice is yours"

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rsunshine2020 13
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Consider yourself lucky!!! Jack sparrow.. It's a story to tell, savvy?

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rsunshine2020 13
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Oh my gosh! How could I forget. Thank you :)

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XmoulcraftX 6
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Maybe jack should do a new movie sounds like he's in a boat load of trouble...

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gheebuttersnaps 4
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That's a new approach to mugging...

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ryguy83 2

Sounds like you had a good day

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