By Anonymous - 27/07/2012 19:26 - United Kingdom - Gorebridge

Today, I was walking home from work, when a clearly homeless guy who smelled like Jimmy Hoffa's colon grabbed me, pinned me to a wall, and demanded that I hand over my "booty". I don't know whether or not I was mugged by Jack Sparrow, but either way, he's now over £100 richer. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 521
You deserved it 2 429

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You're lucky he wanted your money and not the other type of booty

Redoxx_fml 22

Why is the rum always gone?


You're lucky he wanted your money and not the other type of booty

He was clearly asking for anal.

That's CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow!

He had me at "Jimmy Hoffa colon." Too funny. But I hope you weren't too scarred by this experience OP.

pillowsarecomfy 2

What are the odds you misunderstood this homeless guy......

winnerme123 8

He wanted the money to pay for the other type of booty.

He supports the missionary's position.

Maybe the wanna be pirate, robber, wanted both booties but only got one. Jail/prison will give him plenty of the other kind of booty and his will be up for grabs as well ;-).

alshygirl 14

This is off topic but 1- your profile pic gave be nightmares

Redoxx_fml 22

Why is the rum always gone?

CurlyGurlF 6

Favorite line!

Hiimhaileypotter 52

I find Jack Sparrow oddly attractive. Is it just me? It probably is just me :P

Well after that mugger has £100 more, there'll be more rum coming!

Johnny Depp 31. Your not the only one

31 - you definitely are not the only one! I love me some johnny depp

I threw it all into the ocean.

Definitely not just you haha.

mduffy08 8

I really hate that monkey...

Johnny Depp lost his virginity at age 13.

86- really?! How do you even know that

CAPTAIN. It's Captain Jack Sparrow!

dheunwj 3


There should be a "Captain" in there somewhere. ;) And Johnny is MINE. :P

boarder540 12

Sounds like a smart homeless man to me...

Theft is never smart

mduffy08 8

If he was smart, he probably wouldn't be homeless.

TriflingAllDay 6

I would'nt say never.

OP shoulda beat the shit outta that dude. Shoulda gone kungfuiy on his ass

Zatheria 1

You've smelled Jimmy Hoffa's colon?

Redoxx_fml 22

Sea turtles, mate

Who hasn't smelled his colon?

I was slightly concerned myself, but a little impressed

I am very curious about what his colon smells like, if it smells like mine I'll be pissed.

Do y'all not know how to spell "cologne"? Lol

Wow! I wonder if his colon smells the same as his comma...

For some reason when I was reading the FML I glazed over the fact that it read colon instead of cologne. That is until I got to this comment. What does Jimmy Hoffa's COLOGNE smell like?

At least he didn't make you tell him where the buried treasure is.

This made me think of the Boondocks.

"My booty is mine, it belongs to me. You cannot have my booty!"

" I came fo booty, a mans butt Now i likes ya, n i wants ya So we can do this the easy or we can do this the hard way? ...the choice is yours"

Consider yourself lucky!!! Jack sparrow.. It's a story to tell, savvy?

Oh my gosh! How could I forget. Thank you :)

Maybe jack should do a new movie sounds like he's in a boat load of trouble...

That's a new approach to mugging...

ryguy83 2

Sounds like you had a good day