By Anonymous - 27/07/2012 19:26 - United Kingdom - Gorebridge

Today, I was walking home from work, when a clearly homeless guy who smelled like Jimmy Hoffa's colon grabbed me, pinned me to a wall, and demanded that I hand over my "booty". I don't know whether or not I was mugged by Jack Sparrow, but either way, he's now over £100 richer. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 561
You deserved it 2 440

Same thing different taste

Top comments

You're lucky he wanted your money and not the other type of booty

Redoxx_fml 22

Comments

You're lucky he wanted your money and not the other type of booty

He had me at "Jimmy Hoffa colon." Too funny. But I hope you weren't too scarred by this experience OP.

pillowsarecomfy 2

What are the odds you misunderstood this homeless guy......

winnerme123 8

He wanted the money to pay for the other type of booty.

Maybe the wanna be pirate, robber, wanted both booties but only got one. Jail/prison will give him plenty of the other kind of booty and his will be up for grabs as well ;-).

alshygirl 14

This is off topic but 1- your profile pic gave be nightmares

Redoxx_fml 22
Hiimhaileypotter 52

I find Jack Sparrow oddly attractive. Is it just me? It probably is just me :P

Well after that mugger has £100 more, there'll be more rum coming!

Johnny Depp 31. Your not the only one

31 - you definitely are not the only one! I love me some johnny depp

mduffy08 8

I really hate that monkey...

Johnny Depp lost his virginity at age 13.

86- really?! How do you even know that

There should be a "Captain" in there somewhere. ;) And Johnny is MINE. :P

boarder540 12

Sounds like a smart homeless man to me...

mduffy08 8

If he was smart, he probably wouldn't be homeless.

TriflingAllDay 6

OP shoulda beat the shit outta that dude. Shoulda gone kungfuiy on his ass

Zatheria 1

You've smelled Jimmy Hoffa's colon?

Redoxx_fml 22

I was slightly concerned myself, but a little impressed

I am very curious about what his colon smells like, if it smells like mine I'll be pissed.

Do y'all not know how to spell "cologne"? Lol

Wow! I wonder if his colon smells the same as his comma...

For some reason when I was reading the FML I glazed over the fact that it read colon instead of cologne. That is until I got to this comment. What does Jimmy Hoffa's COLOGNE smell like?

"My booty is mine, it belongs to me. You cannot have my booty!"

" I came fo booty, a mans butt Now i likes ya, n i wants ya So we can do this the easy or we can do this the hard way? ...the choice is yours"

Consider yourself lucky!!! Jack sparrow.. It's a story to tell, savvy?

Oh my gosh! How could I forget. Thank you :)

Maybe jack should do a new movie sounds like he's in a boat load of trouble...

ryguy83 2

Sounds like you had a good day