Health: Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard...

By sharkgirl4 - 25/08/2014 16:17 - United States - Rialto

Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 065

You deserved it 4 389

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

By sorethumb - 15/12/2015 23:39 - United Kingdom - Bookham

Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 512

You deserved it 3 391

Shocking!

By Toasted - 29/04/2019 20:00

Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 2 560

Slasher

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 05:00 - United States

Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 724

You deserved it 9 382

Who sharpens screwdrivers?

By Anonymous - 26/12/2021 14:01

Today, on my building site, I asked one of the guys to pass me a screwdriver. He threw it so hard that when I caught it, it stabbed into the meat of my finger and came clean out the other side. Now all the guys keep joking I got royally screwed. The jokes are worse than the pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 106

Gammon

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 06:00

Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 914

Slice of life

By Eleanor - 19/02/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 886

You deserved it 626

My day off

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 23:00

Today, I was finally able to get around to a totally free day when I could do some much needed DIY around the house. Before I even started, I cut my hand on a Stanley knife almost to the bone, and had to get 8 stitches. My wife thinks I did it on purpose to get out of doing the repairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 118

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 970

By opposableouch - 27/10/2009 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 988

You deserved it 7 968

By Anonymous - 16/05/2017 20:00

Today, I accidentally superglued my hand to my grandmother's ornate fan while trying to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 440

You deserved it 822

dudeman1212 22

Monday 25 August 2014 23:26

Guess he's not a fan of you

expertsmilee 26

Monday 25 August 2014 23:27

I'd rotate roommates if I were you.

Comments

RabbitOfAurora 28

Monday 25 August 2014 23:30

I think you mean "ex-roommate" OP. That's downright dangerous and if he doesn't even feel bad it's time to cut all ties, much like he cut your thumb.

kellyem2 20

Monday 25 August 2014 23:32

Wow. When your thumb heals I hope you punch him. That's ridiculous.

lulinator 40

Tuesday 26 August 2014 1:52

OP could just use the other hand to punch.

Phoebe18 14

Tuesday 26 August 2014 2:40

Unless OP can only use certain hand to land a decent punch and that hand is the one that's injured. I know for me personally I could only throw a decent punch/slap with my right hand and I don't have as much control over my left. Maybe OP is in the same boat and hitting with the other hand wouldn't work out. Or maybe OP just isn't into violence

havok87 11

Monday 25 August 2014 23:32

An ass kicking and the med bill is what he's getting.

asargent 14

Monday 25 August 2014 23:35

Is it not still hilarious?

shanannygians07 28

Tuesday 26 August 2014 8:43

I always laugh when I get hurt

LilFidget 4

Monday 25 August 2014 23:40

Hand him the bill and see if he's still laughing at that point.

laylaeve 9

Monday 25 August 2014 23:44

What douche bag...make him pay for your stitches

skittyskatbrat 19

Monday 25 August 2014 23:50

It's all fan and games until somebody gets hurt.

tman1985 9

Thursday 28 August 2014 19:10

then it becomes a sport

njgohard 16

Monday 25 August 2014 23:54

Time to sue.

GentlemanBastard 15

Tuesday 26 August 2014 1:23

Whoa calm down there, killer.

lulinator 40

Tuesday 26 August 2014 1:57

I just watched a day of TV at my parents', due to being ill. I don't have cable at my own home, let alone any American channels. I was pretty taken aback that basically fifty per cent of commercials were for lawyers. Do you really sue for anything?

PoisonOrchid 21

Tuesday 26 August 2014 2:04

Yes, people do over here and it's obnoxious.

lulinator 40

Tuesday 26 August 2014 2:59

Crazy. In Canada, we'd have an apology war. "I'm sorry." "No, it was my fault, I'm sorry." Unless, of course, there was spillage of a Tim's coffee. If that happens, shit's on like Donkey Kong.