Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML
Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML
Today, on my building site, I asked one of the guys to pass me a screwdriver. He threw it so hard that when I caught it, it stabbed into the meat of my finger and came clean out the other side. Now all the guys keep joking I got royally screwed. The jokes are worse than the pain. FML
Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML
Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML
Today, I was finally able to get around to a totally free day when I could do some much needed DIY around the house. Before I even started, I cut my hand on a Stanley knife almost to the bone, and had to get 8 stitches. My wife thinks I did it on purpose to get out of doing the repairs. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
Today, I accidentally superglued my hand to my grandmother's ornate fan while trying to fix it. FML
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Top comments
dudeman1212 22
Guess he's not a fan of you
expertsmilee 26
I'd rotate roommates if I were you.
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Comments (110)
thatguynamedsky 32
the same thing happens to me working on a computer -_- fans are more dangerous than they look
_sammybear_ 2
Maybe you should have unplugged it...
Psycho_Babydoll 26
It WAS unplugged until the roommate plugged it back in.
Tipperson 8
the stupidity must've blown you away
noah_1234 24
i guess thats why people say roomates are the people who failed in life.
worldclassrager 41
Next time have the cord by you...but still that's more mean than funny though...but karma will get him soon
demented_potato6 2
My friend did the exact thing except he decided what it would feel like if he stuck his finger in so it was his choice
JKPwnage 27
Asshole
bortego10 7
But.... I thought the fan was broken?
sharkgirl4 23
The problem was that the rotating mechanism was loose from being dropped, so the fan would shake violently while on. I was attempting to fix it by using a washer to lessen the amount of shaking possible. I understand it's confusing wording, but there's a limit to what I can say.
LikeMinded 3
its called "lock out/tag out"
sirpantselot 22
Why was it on? Surely, even if you unplug it, you'd put it in the off position. Sorry mate, YDI.
sharkgirl4 23
Actually, the fan didn't have a switch on it. It was, admittedly, a cheap fan, but it was like a wind tunnel.