never thought I'd say that
Stavanger, Norway
Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
New Zealand
Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a Segway. He still got away. FML
COCKYmanUSC
United States
Today, I was the victim of a drive-by. The attackers used water guns. FML
Anonymous
Woodbridge, United States
Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML
Jehovah God
Richmond, United States
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
NeedANewWindshield
Angry much?
Today, some unprovoked drunk asshole tried punching a hole through the windshield of my car. While I was driving it. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML
cman
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
Romania
Dude, WTF?
Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML
brodinn
Florence, United States
Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML
waterdog
United States
Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML
Potato_Lord
Madison, United States
Today, not only did someone steal my bike, they also managed to get wasted and drunkenly ride my stolen bike through my new screened-in front porch, destroying it and the bike. FML
Top comments
iSativa 24
Now that's talent.
cristy91 33
If the guy's on a Segway you could easily run after him and give him a pee-filled taste of his own medicine
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Comments (61)
bhou56 7
A segway? If you wanted, you could've easily chased him and returned the favor. However, I'm glad you didn't; it shows that at least some people are mature and classy.
BillyGoesBoom 8
They see me rollin, they hatin'
crisanba 18
That's a new one
christian_slate 16
Urinating on a Segway that's moving backward would take some skill, while going forward would be like pissing upstream and drinking downstream.
RedPillSucks 31
That's what I was thinking
nickyp30 8
The story itself makes it worth it
turdlett 4
were you pissed off?
esines 9
Were you original?
sw2f2fchik612 12
Gob?
liammurphy111 6
Wow
BobbieH 19
He's on a Segway, why didn't you just move out of range? Its not like he was speeding past and "firing" with a long effective range or velocity. He was crushing by at speed walking pace and pissing; most of the urine probably end up back on him.
moronic_comments 1
have you ever heard of relative velocity? it's nearly impossible to piss on yourself.
She_Wolf78 3
You had his DNA genius. Why did you call the cops?