never thought I'd say that
Stavanger, Norway
Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
New Zealand
Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a Segway. He still got away. FML
COCKYmanUSC
United States
Today, I was the victim of a drive-by. The attackers used water guns. FML
Anonymous
Woodbridge, United States
Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML
Jehovah God
Richmond, United States
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
NeedANewWindshield
Angry much?
Today, some unprovoked drunk asshole tried punching a hole through the windshield of my car. While I was driving it. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML
cman
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
Romania
Dude, WTF?
Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML
brodinn
Florence, United States
Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML
waterdog
United States
Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML
Potato_Lord
Madison, United States
Today, not only did someone steal my bike, they also managed to get wasted and drunkenly ride my stolen bike through my new screened-in front porch, destroying it and the bike. FML
Top comments
iSativa 24
Now that's talent.
cristy91 33
If the guy's on a Segway you could easily run after him and give him a pee-filled taste of his own medicine
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (61)
PenguinBitch 43
They see me rollin' they hatin'.
mario2012 18
They see me roll on, my Segway.
PenguinBitch 43
Oh, how rare of you Mario to 1-up my comment.
a17eathshot1 11
wow that sucks for you
wowthatissad 9
Ugh I work at an outdoor bar and there are so many drunk losers that do the stupidest shit... One guy fell off of our outdoor deck and got up and said, "DAD? where are you?!" even though he was there by himself.
floon_fml 13
You're a bartender at the age of 15? Interesting..
NatalieOntheTram 11
She never said she was a bartender, just that she worked at a bar.
floon_fml 13
My apologies. You are correct. I will rephrase. You work at a bar at the age of 15? Interesting....
blackwidowtaco 31
She could possibly be a hostess or bus girl.
Ameel_fml 19
I'm impressed that a drunk person could even balance on a segway, let alone piss while driving one. :O
Izabushel 65
That's what I was thinking.
thatnucca 36
You must have been pissed...
martin8337 35
I heard of drive by farting, but drive by pissing, that' s. a new one for me.
jsc9306 14
How does this happen?
gallaeo 21
Thought it sounded pretty self explanatory from the FML....
kenoswild 14
People still use segways??
worldclassrager 39
Well that's probably the last time and the first time that will happen to you...at least I hope so...
jshams 3
Gob Bluthe!