Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

Déjà vu

Today, my 20 year-old self, who works shift work, learned by accident that my 14 year-old brother has been using my toothbrush for the past 6+ months. I wouldn't have known due to my schedule until just now when I found it was wet. He admitted it, but was upset with me for using HIS toothbrush. It has my name on it. FML

Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

Today, after a fight, I caught my sister rubbing my toothbrush on the inside of our grimy toilet. This is why I have trust issues. FML

Shit happens

Today, I woke up and brushed my teeth as usual. My brother had decided it would be a good time to prank me and rubbed a ton of salt into my toothbrush. A while later, he stood outside the bathroom door repeatedly saying sorry. It was Epsom salt. FML

Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML

Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML