Today, I was talking to the girl I've liked for 2 years. We were assigned partners for a History project so we were going to work on it at my house. When she asked me for directions, I told her I lived on Woodcock Road. She yelled slapped me and stormed off. I was serious. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML
Today, I was paired up with a girl in my class for a project. She started crying. FML
Today, I was cuddling with the girl I've been seeing for the past few months. She was saying how much she liked me and how much I meant to her. Reciprocating those feelings, I asked her to be my girlfriend. It was a HARD no for her. Then she drove me an hour and a half home. FML
Today, I was hitting on a girl who was getting ready to walk into the same class as me. We were waiting outside the room, so I told her that I'd heard the professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down at a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML
Today, I'm a youth worker. I drove 7 hours to visit a teenage girl I have been working with, and who recently moved. Due to roadworks, it took me 2 hours longer than expected. When I arrived, she told me to fuck off and closed the door in my face. FML
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
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Top comments
heyyou1203 0
why do women think it's ok to slap men?? if a man slaps a woman it's abuse or domestic violence. (i'm a woman, btw)
Smiley_70 22
Show her a street directory with the street on it. Weird name of a road though!
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Comments (161)
Crickmasta 0
Woulda been funny if it was 69 Woodcock Rd.
iSmellNice 2
That would be great!
cheksea 0
69 Woodcock Rd exists! It is in Westbury, NY
Jerro893 0
Aww, I was gonna say that. No fair, being here first! LOL!
iBimmer 0
YDI for living on a road called Woodcock.
nirvan5a 1
i live in Ironpussy street, seriuosly.
Antivirus_fml 0
LOL!!!! HA HA HA HA (Thats not true, is it?)
Pastor_Rich 0
if she lived around there, she would have heard of that road maybe, but still, a slap and walk off for that. she has issues
queenms 0
LOL # 16 xD That's rly mean wtf... like if a guy/friend said that to me I'd either be like "uhh... ok sure xD" or like "HAHAHA ur so funny ^^ no btu seriously wut's the name we rly need to get working ;)" And then u'd be like uhh I'm seirous and I'd be like "ohhh I'm so stupid I'm sry ^^" I would NEVER slap a guy for that... I hit guys a lot but only because they annoy me all the time like once I was crying with my friend and one of my guy friends comes behind me and fake humps me im just like all pissed off n I slapped him rly hard ^^ Than of course I apologised... That's an exemple of a ok reason to hit a guy but seriously WTF is wrong with dat girl???? XD Btw sry i wrote so much ^^
trilliamme 0
No, that's not an "okay reason to hit a guy." And damn, that took me a while to get through. Your spelling gives me a headache.
heyyou1203 0
agreed #47. in ALL that you said. And 19, so your apology makes it ok in the end? so i can beat you up and apologize, maybe even pay for the medical bills if necessary, but it's ok because I said sorry? that's how so many women end up stuck in abusive relationships, FYI. if your friend "fake humps you" then push him off... don't hit him unless he's attacking you.
TheNewGuy03 29
i'm coming to **** you up permanently, but i'll be sure to apologize soon after! by your logic, i can get away with murder...if i apologize. |the kid|
11bellacasey 0
woodcock? really?
Pixelle_fml 0
Hmm there's something I didn't get there... What does that mean, why is it so funny?
ZuRG_fml 7
Study partner thought it was a penis joke for a booty call instead of studying. It wasn't.
Pixelle_fml 0
Oh got it now! Thank you :) Lol, I met a man whose last name was Woodcock last year....
capricaz 0
That sounds too ridiculous to be true. Any normal girl would be like "Huh is that a joke?" or something. I guess if it is real then she's a psycho and you don't want her in your house anyway.
killinglights 0
I think this either fake or an old tale, it's the middle of the summer so the person probably wouldn't be in school.
zidane312 0
Good point, definitely BS
hecuva 0
I know many people, including myself, who take classes through the summer, especially in university/college. It can cut out a full year doing this (depending on the length of your program). So it's very possible it isn't fake at all
zidane312 0
Its possible these two are in college. Both points valid. And I hear the road actually exists. I will give OP credit as a legit FML. (Though the slap part is really lame!)
cthulhu1138 1
All FMLs have to start with "Today", even if the incident happened earlier. For all we know this might have occurred in May.
iheartsnapple 0
yeah, I've posted FML's that had happened a few days/weeks ago, but I didn't have enough characters to type out, "Today, actually a little while ago,..." or anything like that. Not all FMLs that are posted happened that day.
perfectgrl6971 0
HAHA!! that's hilarious=)..weird road name but it's good for jokes=P