Love: Today, my girlfriend texted me "I think we should move in". Then,...

Hey, just wanted to inform everyone that yes, she is obviously my ex-girlfriend now and that i'm feeling fine. I was actually out skateboarding with some friends when i got the texts from her, and once i showed them, they made me feel a lot better. We were actually dating for a year and almost two months, but i never thought she would end it like that. So between my friends and the support from you guys i realized that i deserved better then her and i'll be more careful next time in choosing a partner. Thanks guys :)

Love

Our house, in the middle of our street

Stop talking!

Classic switcheroo

17/06/2018 15:00

Today, I was brutally tackled and detained by a group of people until the police arrived, because I fit the description of a wanted criminal who was featured on the news. This isn't the first time this has happened, and no style change I've tried has been able to avert it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 677

You deserved it 222

07/08/2013 14:26

Today, I have an orthodontist's appointment, and I told my best friend that I was going to get my teeth fixed. She replied, "Wow, thanks. Your smile's really awful to have to look at." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 192

You deserved it 4 367

26/09/2016 21:52

Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 302

You deserved it 1 129

25/04/2009 18:41

Today, is my boyfriend and my 3 year anniversary. We decided to give each other something that we really needed. I bought him the $300 worth of books that he needed for college. He surprised me with a workout video and exercise equipment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 354

You deserved it 11 798

19/04/2018 19:00

Today, I was invited to a special meal for receiving a scholarship from my college. My mom refuses to take me because “your sister’s going there too and didn’t get a scholarship; it wouldn’t be fair to her.” I guess fairness doesn’t apply to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 165

You deserved it 200

30/04/2009 06:11

Today, I was rollerblading in the university gardens and taking pictures. A worker started to yell at me, and I told him that I had perfect control and could stay on the sidewalk. As I turned to skate away, I faceplanted into a bed of prized rare flowers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 201

You deserved it 63 798

20/08/2013 22:46

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 748

You deserved it 12 299

15/01/2012 06:24

Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 874

You deserved it 3 958

22/09/2010 05:38

Today, my dad gave me a twenty minute lecture about responsibility and how lazy he considers me to be. He then yelled at me for not making his bed and getting his clothes off the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 819

You deserved it 2 532

29/09/2010 22:47

Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 438

You deserved it 3 652

21/09/2018 14:00

Today, after months of planning, I finally got my first tattoo: my cat's paw print. I love it so I showed my friends pictures. One said it looks like poop and the other said it looks like I have a disease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 358

You deserved it 989

BFF

By Anonymous - 22/09/2019 00:01

Today, I just found out my best friend is a hooker. I just thought she worked nights and had terrible taste in clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 701

You deserved it 415

15/05/2016 22:25

Today, my college instructor told me I hadn't actually failed a big exam as he originally said. It turns out he'd mixed me up with another student. Now thanks to the power of gossip, half my class thinks I slept with him so he'd switch my grade with the other student's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 535

You deserved it 1 332

05/11/2010 23:36

Today, my boyfriend started his first day of work. After saying our goodbyes, I went into our bedroom to get changed, picked up one of my blouses and found a camera, still recording. I guess someone has major trust issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 417

You deserved it 4 070

Wigging out

By Stacey Halvorson - 19/07/2021 04:01

Today, I was riding my bike on a sunny but windy afternoon. Coming up to an intersection, the wind switched directions and my wig blew off and landed in the middle of the road. At this point, I was almost at the other side but I had to turn around and grab my hair before the light turned green. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 269

Nice to see you too

By mcfatty - 07/10/2021 15:30

Today, despite having a bunch of work and school related things to do, I made time to go visit family I hadn't seen in a while. The main topic of discussion was how fat I've gotten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 053

You deserved it 1 624

23/10/2009 05:01

Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 145

You deserved it 40 855

09/09/2016 10:26

Today, my babysitter told me to find a replacement, so I tried to bribe her into staying by offering her a raise. She told me that the money would be better spent on an exorcist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 085

You deserved it 4 169

23/11/2011 03:21

Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 271

You deserved it 11 841

12/08/2010 23:05

Today, I thought it would be funny to moon people out of my friend's car window. I rolled down the window and mooned a random couple. You should have seen the looks on their faces when I had to get out of the car and pick up my phone and wallet, which were in my back pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 156

You deserved it 57 581

15/05/2015 23:55

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 644

You deserved it 2 363

Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 14:01

Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 240

28/07/2011 02:02

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 856

You deserved it 6 218

13/07/2012 07:37

Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 484

You deserved it 37 808

24/05/2009 23:52

Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my Grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box,"Face this side toward crowd for best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on it's side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 944

You deserved it 58 982

16/03/2012 01:31

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 774

You deserved it 7 621

03/07/2009 16:23

Today, I exchanged numbers with this guy in the McDonald's drive-thru. When he asked why I gave him my number I told him I thought he had a nice smile. When I asked him the same question, he responded with "I just thought you had a nice rack". FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 490

You deserved it 47 873

Fairytale ending

By Anonymous - 09/06/2020 17:00

Today, as something cute to do, me and my boyfriend dressed as Snow White and the Prince so we could photograph the moment he kisses me and I wake up. He thought it would be funny to use his penis, so now there’s a picture of us dressed up with my dumb self kissing his penis with my eyes closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 725

You deserved it 1 266

22/11/2018 03:00

Today, my brother's new kitten decided to bring me a gift as a sign of love. It was my pet hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 831

You deserved it 279

01/03/2009 09:08

Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 175

You deserved it 309 367

30/05/2014 20:37

Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 104

You deserved it 10 814

06/12/2014 19:53

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 107

You deserved it 12 525

06/07/2017 11:58

Today, I spent 2 hours scrubbing puke off the dishes in the kitchen. Why? Because my moronic flatmate was dared by his equally moronic friend to drink a bottle of castor oil and then eat an entire jar of marmite. As a result, he projectile vomited all over all the dishes and left me to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 166

You deserved it 436

What have you got yourself into?

By HaroldLames - 01/03/2021 11:01

Today, the court is unable to allow me to divorce my wife because she is pregnant with our child. I have to wait until AFTER the baby is born, so that she is born inside of a marriage and not be an "illegitimate child". I was planning to move out of our house to go live with my high school sweetheart this weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 2 673

20/01/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend asked if I could somehow get uncircumcised so I could add an inch to my length. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 892

You deserved it 475

04/08/2009 02:37

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 646

You deserved it 9 476

07/10/2015 22:07

Today, my roommate confided in me that she hadn't been taking showers while at school because she was afraid of being in the shower when the fire alarm goes off. She goes home once every month, and will only shower there. I have to live with her for the rest of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 845

You deserved it 1 681

20/09/2016 16:54

Today, I found out that my boss's ex-husband is my company manager. They are one office space apart and constantly shouting about one another. I'm in that one office space between them. In the office across from me? Their daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 308

You deserved it 860

13/11/2010 06:24

Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 471

You deserved it 14 659

15/11/2015 22:12

Today, I asked my dad for help on some homework I didn't fully understand. He walked away and came back with a huge bowl of grapes and said, "Here's your brain food." Then he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 231

You deserved it 1 880

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Top comments

DandoisFLAT 10

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Monday 12 August 2013 19:43

SoulAmeliorate 16

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Monday 12 August 2013 8:51

That was a bad move on her part.

Comments

SoulAmeliorate 16

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Monday 12 August 2013 8:51

That was a bad move on her part.

\ 28

Monday 12 August 2013 8:56

OP's girlfriend motioned to the door of their relationship.

_GoodGuy 11

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Monday 12 August 2013 8:59

She probably needed room in her relationship.

JocelynKaulitz 28

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Monday 12 August 2013 9:54

It was the "damn autocorrect."

SomeRandomGuy15 18

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Monday 12 August 2013 13:41

32- It was a pun.

addioty 19

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Monday 12 August 2013 19:24

send her to the corner of death

Ziggyboo 10

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Monday 12 August 2013 19:39

Perhaps OP should move on...

Sfaizi24 17

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Tuesday 13 August 2013 2:40

Come on #1. You had to chance to use move in and didnt

jesustitts 20

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Tuesday 13 August 2013 5:11

CORNER OF DEATH

webbface 25

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Tuesday 13 August 2013 10:36

Damn 75, that would have been too good lol

Kyp_kingofhearts 12

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Friday 16 August 2013 7:41

Very misleading text.

flashback.miss 28

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Monday 12 August 2013 8:52

Sorry about that, but move one to someone better (preferably someone brave enough that won't break up over text messaging).

webbface 25

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Tuesday 13 August 2013 10:35

Damn another "move on" typo.

lex1459 38

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Monday 12 August 2013 8:53

Wow. You're better off OP!

xlord 27

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Monday 12 August 2013 9:40

What if the girlfriend gave amazing head?

lex1459 38

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Monday 12 August 2013 9:40

She still broke up with him in a text message that she didn't even bother to proof read

Alihb 16

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Monday 12 August 2013 10:34

#28 youre an idiot

xlord 27

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Monday 12 August 2013 11:11

And you're a dumbass who can't understand a joke. See how easy it is to insult people over the internet? Even if you didn't like the joke please explain how that makes me an idiot?

thatisaWIN 5

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Monday 12 August 2013 11:43

Maybe because the joke was distasteful? Although, calling someone an idiot is taking it a bit too far. But then again, this is the internet.

iAlissa 34

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Monday 12 August 2013 18:23

#39, really? Keep the ignorance to yourself please.

bfsd42 20

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Monday 12 August 2013 21:59

#56, the only ignorance is in the people who complained about the comment. It was funny and definitely within the distasteful nature expected in the fml community.

ywolfgl 21

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Monday 12 August 2013 8:53

That kind of typo is a no no

dav3800 7

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Monday 12 August 2013 14:30

Better than saying "sorry, wrong person".

RedPillSucks 31

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Monday 12 August 2013 16:23

Nah! I'd rather "wrong person".

pmwws 3

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Monday 12 August 2013 22:39

More like a ni ni

Spider_Web 11

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Tuesday 13 August 2013 0:59

The girlfriend saying it's time to move in then saying "wrong person" is just as bad

Zebediabolical 39

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Tuesday 13 August 2013 7:37

The girlfriend saying it's time to move on and then saying 'wrong person' is even worse!

_GoodGuy 11

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Monday 12 August 2013 8:53

I hope you made the right move after that

AGB10 19

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Monday 12 August 2013 11:36

Agreed. I hope he texted her "that's good, because I was going to reject you to moving in anyway"

Ms_ValS 27

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Monday 12 August 2013 8:54

Wow. Heartbreaking typo.

thepunman 11

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Monday 12 August 2013 8:54

The fick?

Nordrag 26

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Monday 12 August 2013 9:03

Duck.

thepunman 11

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Monday 12 August 2013 9:16

Sorry typo. Move on....

AnOriginalName 19

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Monday 12 August 2013 10:00

I think I'd prefer to move in.

lightanddark 17

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Monday 12 August 2013 13:03

she broke up with him. that's thr fick

ty7in_topic 31

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Monday 12 August 2013 8:54

Don't worry OP it's a big world with plenty of women out there, you'll find who'll never want to leave you.

RedPillSucks 31

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Monday 12 August 2013 16:25

and who have better typing skills.

redwrath 16

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Monday 12 August 2013 8:55

Well that's a huge disappointment, better luck next time.

michelleJ11 25

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Monday 12 August 2013 8:58

Who breaks up with someone over text? That's harsh ... Sorry OP

Nyx_fml 23

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Monday 12 August 2013 8:59

You haven't seen people breaking up over text? Welcome to FML!

ty7in_topic 31

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Monday 12 August 2013 9:03

Every girlfriend I've ever had has dumped me over text. It's quite common in our society.

Treveyon56 14

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Monday 12 August 2013 9:19

Honestly I don't get what's so bad about breaking up over text. I mean what's really going to change if done face to face. It's going to hurt the same. Maybe it's because I'm the type that doesn't really care. I've done it to anyone though.

lazygirlWOW 9

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Monday 12 August 2013 9:23

It shows you had respect for that person. Enough said.

michelleJ11 25

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Monday 12 August 2013 9:36

I've seen people break up over text many times; & I just find it harsh how people can't sum up the courage and give you enough respect to do it face to face. I think maybe people find it harder to see the other persons reaction & they try to avoid it?

IGaveRickUp 15

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Monday 12 August 2013 9:51

Where does it say that she Brests up with OP?

michelleJ11 25

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Monday 12 August 2013 11:20

Breaks up..? & I'm pretty sure that's what 'I think we should move on' means, but that might just be me.

RedPillSucks 31

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Monday 12 August 2013 16:27

I think OP would have preferred her to "Brest up" with him.

Treveyon56 14

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Monday 12 August 2013 21:25

What would respect matter if their dumping you? Even if they did it face to face he still lost a girlfriend and would still feel bad. Just saying a break up is a break up no matter how it's done.

twinkiefeets 17

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Tuesday 13 August 2013 6:34

Sadly it's very common, it shouldn't be but it is.

Chumsword 8

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Tuesday 13 August 2013 6:58

Breaking up over text makes it impersonal and easier to do for the person doing the breaking up. Its a chicken-shit way of "getting out" without having to deal with the other persons emotions as your doing it.. It's not going to be any easier for those being dumped. People that do this aren't worth losing tears over.

Treveyon56 14

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Tuesday 13 August 2013 11:39

O get what everyone is saying I'm just asking why should it really matter. The last thing I ever think about when the thought of being dumped comes to mind is how you got dumped. I mean if someone dumps you would you really want to see them?

zobara 29

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Tuesday 17 May 2016 20:08

It may be common, but that doesn't make it right!