Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my youngest decided my phone needed a bath in the toilet. FML
Today, my five-year-old son told me that I smell bad and asked me to take a shower so I wouldn't attract bugs into the house. I had just showered. FML
Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I told him he could pick up some of his toys. He washed my new Iphone instead. FML
Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to take a video of his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML
Today, I was laughing at a story of a girl who had dropped her cellphone in a hottub and ruined it. As I was feeling pretty good about myself, I then realized that my cellphone was in the pocket of a sweater that I had just thrown in the washer 20 minutes prior. FML
Today, my 17 year-old son has been using his phone on the toilet. Every time he poops, he takes his phone to the bathroom. Why does he need his phone to use the bathroom? He uses the toilet with his phone. FML
Today, I put my phone in the dishwasher by accident. I'd left it on the kitchen counter with a bunch of dirty stuff and, distracted, loaded it in with the plates. I only realized it when the dishwasher started making weird noises. My phone was soaked and blinking with bubbles inside. It didn’t survive. FML
Today, my shower is being renovated so I washed my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year-old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML
Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML
Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
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Top comments
desireev 18
Aww! He was just thinkin' of you Momma! Sweet little boy! :)
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
Scrub a dub dub IPhone in the tub!
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Comments (89)
crazy_whitechick 6
At least it was a sweet thought...
marinus_fml 20
Oh, I remember the days when I use to take baths...Did you tell your son how many germs are in an average bath? Stick to showers.
pepperlover89 5
that's why bleach was invented...to kill the germs so, you can take a bath! :) bleach is my friend whenever I want to take a bubble bath.
marinus_fml 20
Then you can just mellow in ya own sweaty ballsack water for a half hour! Only bath after you've already gone for a shower, otherwise you just soak in your own dirt.
cntryiscntrywide 0
I take a bath, then I stand up and rinse off excess soap in the shower.
mango260 9
I haven't took a bath in years! (imma shower girl) usually back then when I took baths, just to relax I would take a regular shower afterwards :D
perdix 31
He probably overheard you talking dirty on it ;)
acrilan 0
Haha that one was good
Shadow_Phantom 26
At least your son wasn't 16 or something; age 5 kids don't really know any better.
Sliim_Shaady 6
No sh*t Sherlock ....
missabbey 3
Did u really need to say that?
cutiepie111 3
awww that's so cute! he was just lookin out for you mom!
thiscrazything 1
Consider yourself lucky, you have a sweet boy who cares about you.
THE_A_TEEN 28
It's a 5 year old, not a full grown adult. Arguement invalid, moron.
sweetpea41800 0
23- you don't have to be a jerk the lil kid was trying to help his mommy
loller27 6
kids these days...
matt98_fml 13
He was looking out for you. :)
DK1234567 8
Guh
NERDSUNITE92_fml 8
Awwwe that is so cute, he was just trying to protect you from getting sick.