Animals: Today, I was taking a poop when I heard a window in my house...

By Alaska - 29/10/2015 03:35 - United States

Today, I was taking a poop when I heard a window in my house break. Then, I heard things dropping upstairs. I decided to stay in the bathroom, which has a lock, and called the cops. Turns out it was just a bird that was trying to get at my fish in the fish tank that I have in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 888

You deserved it 2 524

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Sarah1330 - 25/02/2015 04:33 - United States

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 417

You deserved it 3 348

Crime scene

By xTRYSOFTx - 07/03/2020 03:00 - United States

Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 2 206

By Olive14 - 15/12/2010 06:15

Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 091

You deserved it 7 345

By Anonymous - 18/12/2015 11:40 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 742

You deserved it 5 820

By Sassers - 03/12/2009 21:08 - United States

Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 859

You deserved it 35 031

Ratatouille

By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 08:02

Today, after my house almost got broken into last week, when I heard some noises in the kitchen I went to investigate. I saw a huge rat run across my floor, and nearly peed myself thinking it was an intruder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 179

Suspicious minds

By abusedparrot - 24/08/2014 12:40 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 268

You deserved it 6 143

By Anonymous - 05/08/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 563

You deserved it 4 554

By Anonymous - 20/10/2009 10:56 - Australia

Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 234

You deserved it 6 135

By Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 206

You deserved it 243

MrsPegg 45

Thursday 29 October 2015 16:33

So a bird busted through a glass door/window to go after your fish? That's one helluva determined (and sturdy) bird! What did the cops say?

mds9986 24

Thursday 29 October 2015 16:34

At least you played it safe when you heard some fishy sounds in your house.

Comments

Sora_McKain 36

Thursday 29 October 2015 16:33

That is one dedicated bird! I have never seen any animal try to force themselves in through a window for any reason. I hope there wasn't too much damage to the window.

MasterTron 24

Thursday 29 October 2015 16:42

It was probably a Raven. They are very mischievous birds.

MrsPegg 45

Thursday 29 October 2015 16:33

So a bird busted through a glass door/window to go after your fish? That's one helluva determined (and sturdy) bird! What did the cops say?

Tripartita 44

Thursday 29 October 2015 16:52

"We're glad to finally have this bird in custody."

mercumorr 20

Thursday 29 October 2015 16:33

Who green lighted this during moderation, damn.

mds9986 24

Thursday 29 October 2015 16:34

At least you played it safe when you heard some fishy sounds in your house.

syki 22

Thursday 29 October 2015 16:51

Yeah, a lot of people are too bird-brained to stay somewhere safe. They just go flying off at the first chance to look like a heron.

AcieMcG 21

Thursday 29 October 2015 16:35

Anyone else flashback to Finding Nemo?

ApologyKick 25

Thursday 29 October 2015 16:35

You mean a bird flew through your glass window and was unfazed enough by this to now attack your glass fish tank? Birds have some brass balls up in Alaska.