Better off alone

By Anonymous - 21/05/2022 06:00

Today, I found out the person I've fallen for is seeing someone else. This isn't a problem. What IS a problem is the fact that I asked her out before they even met, and was told she wasn't ready for a relationship. This happens every time I try to put myself out there and let myself feel anything for anyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 000
You deserved it 354

Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "Let Me Down Gently" by Spacemen 3

By Heal my butt smh - 24/09/2023 18:02 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I’ve been waiting for the girl I love to break up with her boyfriend so I could ask her out. It finally happened; however she said she wanted time to heal before she started getting involved with guys again. I respected that decision. There’s just one problem. I saw her in town, hand in hand with another man. FML
I agree, your life sucks 337
You deserved it 963

Top comments

"Not ready for a relationship" implicitly includes "with you." When the right person comes along, people magically think they're ready.

Based on the number of people agreeing that your life sucks, I feel obligated to post this. It’s pretty obvious but YOU CAN’T CALL DIBS ON A PERSON.

Comments

"Not ready for a relationship" implicitly includes "with you." When the right person comes along, people magically think they're ready.

It generally takes time between meeting someone and seeing someone, during which time they *could* have felt ready and either didn’t think to ask you or weren’t interested.

Bubbles_the_klutz 9

As difficult as it is to hear, "I'm not ready for a relationship" is the pre-dating version of, "It's not you it's me." While they could truly have not been ready for a relationship but became ready later, it's very likely that they just weren't interested and were trying to let you down gently. It will hurt for a while, but you'll meet someone eventually who will appreciate you for who you are.

Based on the number of people agreeing that your life sucks, I feel obligated to post this. It’s pretty obvious but YOU CAN’T CALL DIBS ON A PERSON.

Most of these trite phrases or ideas are really just euphemisms for “I’m just not that interested in or attracted to you.” The mythical friend zone is quite simply “you seem like a decent person but I don’t find you attractive.” The same goes with not being ready for a relationship, or taking time to work on me, or straight-up ghosting. It sucks getting rejected but at least she was trying to be polite about it and let you down easy. She’s allowed to reject you, and that’s okay. It doesn’t matter how nice you might be, why she’s not attracted to you or how much you happen to like her, if she’s not interested. Romantic interest has to be mutual, otherwise you’d be posting years down the road that she left you telling you that she never really felt attracted to you in the first place.. Work on yourself, keep a positive attitude and move on.

The "soft no," which involves making excuses that can be straight-up false ("I'm not ready for a relationship with anyone" is a common one), is utterly necessary. Women learn to do this after they repeatedly receive threats, verbal abuse, stalking, or worse... Just for directly telling men that no, they're not interested. Most women have gone through this quite a lot. So please, when she gives you the easy excuse/lie, don't blame her. Blame the dickbags who made it unsafe for her to do anything else.

wrenavery90 12

I think she was trying to let you down easy. Maybe you come across as needy??