Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, a patient at the hospital where I work asked me if he and his son could light up a joint. He was on oxygen, and serious. FML
Today, as I was reviewing my EMS textbook, I decided I would practice taking my own pulse. I started with finding my femoral artery with no success. My mom walked in on me while I had my hand almost up my crotch, muttering to myself, "Why don't I have one?" FML
Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML
Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Today, I was working at the hospital and it was very busy. Unthinking, I told a patient in a wheelchair to "sit tight" while I checked on something. He mocked me for the rest of his stay. FML
Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML
Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML
Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML
Today, I had to inform my midlife-crisis husband that the "weed" he had "scored" from his "dealer down the pub" was actually just a lot of mixed herbs. He refused to believe me and smoked it anyway, I mean, I'm only a chef in a restaurant, what do I know about herbs? He's still coughing by the way. FML
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Top comments
grumpybr 13
If you had to have your patient teach you how to do your job, maybe this is not the right field for you.
SomeRandomGuy15 18
Well, that kind of thing happens to everyone... Although I would be slightly worried if I was your patient.
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Comments (120)
Dracoboxer357 35
Shake it off, Op, I'd be willing to bet even Doc Bastard had that happen to him once, just learn from it and do better next time! :)
LO388 7
I'd love to hear Doc's response if a patient asked him that. *Sits and waits patiently*
DanielT1994 19
OP, you'd do well to listen to 11. Everybody makes mistakes.
EsotericBrent 29
Don't know about you guys, but I thought "zombie" when I first started reading this
jetsown08 21
"DocBastard, you made an incision into my right kidney, it's the left one with the problem!"
DocBastard 38
Ha! If I had a nickel for every wrong kidney I've taken...um... Hey, what's that over there?! *moves to Belgrade*
Ajwc101 24
Doc...just admit that you do the wrong kidney so you get more money for doing both.
CrazyChiC42 10
A lot of stethoscopes are flat on the wrong side so the mistake is understandable, not to mention the fact that there are ones out there that are double sided.
AbstraktThoughts 13
THANK YOU. A comment that isn't ignorant telling op about how he was stupid for confusing the stethoscope -______- it's easy to make that mistake. Besides it wasn't a life threatening one.
lordslaya53 14
I panicked. I thought the end was going to be "it turns out that he had died"
vbmg152 18
You so deserve it!
MWidderAUDI 14
because he made an honest mistake?
TheVoicesTalk 3
Honestly, the OP sounds like a student to me. I'm taking a CNA class now (as a junior in high school) and couldn't figure out how to use a stethoscope three months into training. OP probably just got nervous and forgot, is all.
ghettokitty 8
Mistakes are natural lol, but ones like this are funny!
imyy 20
Wouldn't this be funny if this was Doc Bastard? Wrong country, though...
BellaBelle_fml 23
The Doc would never make this mistake.
PipingMouse 14
Everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days.
EnigmaThe321 12
Nobody's perfect!
SWC_Penguin 17
The wrong way around?? One end has 2 parts...that's for your ears. I don't blame the patient here for being concerned!
spaboolly 26
Pretty sure he meant he put the flat side of the receiver (or whatever the term is) against the sphygmometer, rather than the patient's arm. At least I hope so.
LemonandLime 13
The stethoscope has a round thing on the end that has two sides, one side is used for listening to the pulse at the wrist the other side isn't as good. That could be why.
RedPillSucks 31
Just be thankful it was something simple, and not something like mis-typing organs for a transplant, using hydraulic fluid instead of betadine to sterilize, or amputating the wrong limb.
ironichalibut 24
Classic Doctor Zoidberg!