Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, a patient at the hospital where I work asked me if he and his son could light up a joint. He was on oxygen, and serious. FML
Today, as I was reviewing my EMS textbook, I decided I would practice taking my own pulse. I started with finding my femoral artery with no success. My mom walked in on me while I had my hand almost up my crotch, muttering to myself, "Why don't I have one?" FML
Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML
Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Today, I was working at the hospital and it was very busy. Unthinking, I told a patient in a wheelchair to "sit tight" while I checked on something. He mocked me for the rest of his stay. FML
Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML
Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML
Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML
Today, I had to inform my midlife-crisis husband that the "weed" he had "scored" from his "dealer down the pub" was actually just a lot of mixed herbs. He refused to believe me and smoked it anyway, I mean, I'm only a chef in a restaurant, what do I know about herbs? He's still coughing by the way. FML
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Top comments
grumpybr 13
If you had to have your patient teach you how to do your job, maybe this is not the right field for you.
SomeRandomGuy15 18
Well, that kind of thing happens to everyone... Although I would be slightly worried if I was your patient.
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Comments (120)
TrinityisLife 22
LOL, I have a patient that's always saying he's just gonna skip his meds, smoke weed, and drink tequila until he dies. He comes in dressed as a hippie complete with the beard and glasses. Maybe we should get him to wait on your patient :P
DanielT1994 19
It could be worse, OP. Your patient could have perfectly imitated Donald Duck's voice, and called you a quack.
hoffmanam 13
wow. that's what years of med school paid for
CharresBarkrey 15
I'd be willing to bet OP is a Medical Assistant or a nurse. Doctors rarely take BP themselves.
matt98_fml 13
Am I the only one that scrolled through the comments to see if DocBastard wrote anything?
bluerhhajfk 17
Lol
Manicpanic13 9
The negative side affects of medical marujana everybody (pitch perfect)
seblikescricket 7
I'm loving your profile picture
icefshng8 9
Isn't this exact scenario in a movie?
wvcheesehead1 9
I am still waiting for the ops answer. Better to say you are high than stupid.
whostolemylama 12
Anyone here instantly think of DocBastard before reading the user?
alexafml 5
Littering and...littering and...littering and *SMOKIN THE REEFER*