Where is it?

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 18:00

Today, as I was reviewing my EMS textbook, I decided I would practice taking my own pulse. I started with finding my femoral artery with no success. My mom walked in on me while I had my hand almost up my crotch, muttering to myself, "Why don't I have one?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 370

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Same thing different taste

By EMT_Koulianos - 25/05/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 121

You deserved it 4 089

Classic mistake

By Anonymous - 20/06/2021 08:01

Today, as a nursing student, I needed to take a blood sample from someone and the veins on his arms weren't really easy to draw blood from. I asked him, "Can I please look at your legs?" It turns out he was amputated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 273

By no sir I have not - 08/03/2013 00:35 - United States

Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 353

You deserved it 36 322

By bloodless - 05/01/2016 05:17 - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, I went for bloodwork. It's routine for me, so I was ready for the nurse to put in the needle and take my blood. It went in fine, but right after, she slowly pulled the needle out, then wondered why the blood stopped. She then moved it back and forth in my arm while I panicked silently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 306

You deserved it 1 549

By Medic - 29/10/2012 03:10 - United States - Puyallup

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 604

You deserved it 4 341

By Jared - 25/02/2012 19:09 - United States

Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 014

You deserved it 30 854

By Anonymous - 28/10/2014 18:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 536

You deserved it 3 482

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, I decided to give blood for the second time. I felt excrutiating pain when she stuck the needle in my arm. Another nurse came running over in a panic. Apparently my inexperienced nurse had put it in my tendon instead of my vein. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 277

You deserved it 2 913

Panic!

By bosssssssss765432 - 16/05/2009 15:20 - United States

Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a fingerstick in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year-old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The kid fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 924

You deserved it 9 749

By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 15:21 - United States

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 295

You deserved it 3 851

ThatOneLonelyAsian 31

Saturday 26 October 2019 19:41

Doesn't your mum kmow how to knock?

E2dav 5

Sunday 27 October 2019 1:43

Privacy is a given regardless of paying rent or not. Not knocking is rude, even if you own the place. Everything else is whatever mum wants if it's her house.

Comments

ThatOneLonelyAsian 31

Saturday 26 October 2019 19:41

Doesn't your mum kmow how to knock?

mfranks19891989 10

Saturday 26 October 2019 22:54

If it’s her place and he not paying rent the she can do what she wants. Mom is alway the boss no matter how old you are

E2dav 5

Sunday 27 October 2019 1:43

Privacy is a given regardless of paying rent or not. Not knocking is rude, even if you own the place. Everything else is whatever mum wants if it's her house.

notatfault 8

Sunday 27 October 2019 0:41

I guess Freud had a point about girls's being envious about a guy's junk hahaha.

baristalbc 18

Sunday 27 October 2019 7:52

Sounds like the definition of penis envy 😂

Yudith 24

Sunday 27 October 2019 14:25

Why were you taking your pulse on your femoral artery to begin with? Was there an example of a guy with no arms and no neck in your book? Or was it supposed to be a freak accident leaving just the legs untouched?