Anonymous
United States
Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
eggs
Canada
Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML
Anonymous
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Laura
United States
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Rizmo
Cedar City, United States
Today, I found out that the loud noise outside my bedroom a few weeks ago was neighborhood kids throwing eggs at my window, landing on the AC. FML
Amy
United States
Not now, Kelsey
Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML
Eggs
Port Richey, United States
Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML
not a shitty situation so fuck you
San Francisco, United States
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
poopshooter101
United States
Volcanic
Today, I was at Walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong, she said that I'd "killed her nose." FML
Anonymous
Denmark
Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML
Top comments
MyMuse7 0
I would have pelted them with my shit
amerwin 3
I would've scrambled out of their as quickly as possible.
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Comments (222)
bubblekitty 1
omg I was walking by stall and some kids were doing that. maybe that was you :). I loled
lemoncows 2
why were you in the men's bathroom???
yuggi1 11
OP could had been in the women's bathroom for all we know.
bloobelly 0
Maybe that's why he was pelted with eggs
MysticMint 0
What eggxactly did you do to those kids to piss them off?
i_wuz_nver_here 31
it was a reallyyyyyy bad smelling bowel movement ;)
sviperv 0
finally! a FML that really means it
Iknoweverything 29
I have a hard time believing this one... but then, I was never that ambitious as a kid. Plus, I wouldn't have bothered breaking down the door, I would have thrown them over the top so I couldn't be identified. (If I had enough imagination to actually go egg random shitters)
bigantennaemay 3
huh. and people still laugh when i tell them kids are bad news, kids are a burden unto society, kids are evil, etc. etc.
braceletsandhell 7
Most definetly. It's all of them who go out of their way to torture everyone(;
Snowstar 0
Yes, yes we do. To make it up to you, I'll give you a littke warning... That 'lemon flavored' melatonin? The one for your insomnia? I know why its not working. You don't wanna know.
iRiS890 5
That's why you do your business at home in private. What do you do in that situation? Do you just try and teach the kids a lesson or do you finish??? Decisions, decisions.
pinkchocolatex3 0
You shouldve crapper on them
pinkchocolatex3 0
crap*
cptmorgan15 2
crapped*
kaynorr 9
that sux eggs
ichikibobivopula 0
I ******* LOVE COCAINE TOO!
KyleUsesHacks 0
DON'T WE ALL?
Deservesit22 1
Ahh!! Too many puns...
thewife5 19
wow.. that is awful!