Today, I was sword fighting in a play when I accidentally hit the other person in the head. He called me a bitch and stormed off stage, leaving me alone with an audience of 50. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was in a play and had a battle scene. I got a little too into it and wound up twisting my ankle. The audience was treated to me screaming like a little girl before face-planting the stage a moment later. FML
Today, I had a theatre performance. I had to put on a lot of makeup for the role, and one of the guys said I looked nice. I smiled and said thanks. Seconds later, I'd been sucker-punched by his girlfriend for "flirting" with her man. FML
Today, I co-starred in a production of Hamlet. Halfway through play, the actor playing Hamlet forgot his lines, threw a raging temper tantrum, screaming about how much he hated the play and how he wanted to go home in front of hundreds of audience members. FML
Today, in an amphitheater, someone hit the back of my head. As I turned around, the guy apologized and said he mistook me for his friend. I changed seats, and after a while, I got hit a second time. He was wrong again. FML
Today, I performed a piano piece at a school play. Everything went well until I got up and accidentally smashed my shin against one of the piano legs. Before I could bite my tongue, I'd already yelled "Fucking hell!" in front of about 50 second graders. FML
Today, I was stage-managing a school show. Some kids were goofing off backstage, so I yelled at them that they could hurt themselves. While walking back to my chair, I tripped over my own feet and fell 5 feet off the stage, shattering my cheekbone. FML
Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML
Today, I was part of a community theater play as a prop helper. I was supposed to slide a fake letter under a door, but I got overenthusiastic and kicked it into the audience. The actor improvised, but the crowd laughed harder at my blunder than the actual play. FML
Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
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Top comments
imabeast17 0
Why is he mad? I thought the point of sword fighting was to hit each others "heads". Jeez I guess I've been doing it wrong.
bbedlock_fml 7
Don't play with knives!
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Comments (157)
mrahhhhh 21
Am I the only one who imagined a fruity guy lisping "you bitch!" and then walking hurriedly offstage? I know that's a false stereotype but goddammit sometimes things just pop into your head. :) No offense meant to anyone :).
MissBBGoodGirl 0
haha I thought the same exact thing!
ambowew 7
Yep. I imagined the gay fella in Legally Blonde who said those exact words.
laden_swallow09 35
Yah, you're not the only one who thought of that! XD
perdix 31
If you are "sword-fighting" on stage and hit the other guy in the head, you must have a massive weiner, but don't know how to use it for entertainment purposes. You should learn how to do DIck Tricks and be the American version of Puppetry of the Penis.
BugsBunny1 4
That would be an amazing career!
patiencek 0
try being on a stage in front of 500 and the person your in a scene with passing out. sooo scary! I would have dragged that crybaby back out there and told him to fight like a man! haha
aml6154 0
that other person is such a diva...wow
Jimster1712 0
lol , a classic
omgwtftoni 0
50? doesn't sound like a massive production. was this in your backyard? stop crying about it
rickolette 0
Maybe OP lives in a small town. Or people in her town aren't very interested in plays. No need to be an ass, gawd.
dgr8ing 0
it was probably a private school you dumbasses will never see one
joa76 3
I would think more people would go to a private school play than a public one, unless it's a really really small private school. Parents tend to be more involved with private school activities.
Grimmerie 31
i went to a private school of 300 students - kindergarten to grade 12. my public high school had nearly 2000.
skaterpaige 3
WAIT...only 50, what kind of play r u in??
Iswear 4
Your sword should NEVER get anywhere near his face. As a professional stage combatant, I would have been fired or fined. Learn how to handle the weapon before using it.
EKS1572 0
HE WASN'T USING A REAL SWORD! god some of u ppl are seriously screwed up!
Iswear 4
Just because you aren't using a real sword doesn't make it any less dangerous. ANY object swung with any force near the face is highly dangerous. And how does being safety conscious make me messed up?
BugsBunny1 4
Well OP isn't a professional stage combatant! Geez, he messed up give him a break!
Snowlight_fml 7
If the guy has enough energy to say "YOU BITCH" and storm out, he's absolutely fine.
nlr 9
50?! my school plays get almost 3,000 people and that's our full house record!
joa76 3
That's nice. Some people live in small towns. You know what it would take for our school plays to get 3000 people? Aside from the fact that everyone would have to stand smushed together and we would definitely be breaking the fire code limit, we would have to have every single person living in the school zone, including the entire nursing home, plus a good 1500 more.
FatElie 0
Nobody here cares how many people went to your play. Don't act like you're better than the OP.