Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML
Today, I was cycling home. On the way, my laces got stuck in the bicycle pedals and I couldn't move the foot that got stuck. The bicycle fell over, with me attached to it. Everyone was looking at me like, "What are you doing?" FML
Today, I got stuck behind a guy riding his bike 20 mph below the speed limit. I honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled, before finally managing to overtake him. Once I got home, I went outside to get the paper, and discovered that the biker lives just two doors down from me. FML
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, I decided to ride my bike for the first time in over a year. It was seemingly going well, until I got to the first hill. As I began to ascend, I was trying a bit to hard and shit my pants, 8 kilometers away from my house. FML
Today, I learned that my brakes don't work anymore on my bike. When did I learn this? While speeding down a really steep hill. FML
Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
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Top comments
ckr911 5
Ahh, smart guy.
FMLandurstoo 9
You did drop something. Your virginity. I'll pick it up for you though. Mmmmmmhmmmmm
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Comments (170)
SnipeFatPeople 6
That sucks. It's nearly impossible to stet back up. He was pretty smart though.
Llama_Face89 34
Stet?
ricinator 11
he means "start"
CyonideCyns 0
OWNED :)
samsea 5
Well he's pretty clever.
raphanne_fml 33
Ahaha French bitchy humor as its best!
Decapitation 3
You should have said " You lost something too... your consciousness!" The knock him out.
Decapitation 3
Out*
Nukey 2
Hahaha, I like you.
onorexveritas 24
wow lol way a little smartass haha
All_Blacks 2
You got owned by a little kid.
BellaBelle_fml 23
Where does it say he was a kid? OP said 'a guy'. Although it's hard to imagine an adult, or even a teen, riding a scooter.
hateevryone 15
screw him
Calen5556 0
This is an FML? I saw some guy on the news got attacked by a shark today. You got dissed while riding your bike up a hill.
cnslawson 0
Haha greatness..dick move but that is greatness at it's finest