Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML
Today, I was cycling home. On the way, my laces got stuck in the bicycle pedals and I couldn't move the foot that got stuck. The bicycle fell over, with me attached to it. Everyone was looking at me like, "What are you doing?" FML
Today, I got stuck behind a guy riding his bike 20 mph below the speed limit. I honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled, before finally managing to overtake him. Once I got home, I went outside to get the paper, and discovered that the biker lives just two doors down from me. FML
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, I decided to ride my bike for the first time in over a year. It was seemingly going well, until I got to the first hill. As I began to ascend, I was trying a bit to hard and shit my pants, 8 kilometers away from my house. FML
Today, I learned that my brakes don't work anymore on my bike. When did I learn this? While speeding down a really steep hill. FML
Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
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Top comments
ckr911 5
Ahh, smart guy.
FMLandurstoo 9
You did drop something. Your virginity. I'll pick it up for you though. Mmmmmmhmmmmm
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Comments (170)
cobralove69 2
Haha he got yo ass!
SkardeyKat 3
People like that are assholes. I have had someone call me back from a long ways away like it is an emergency. I went running back and was all concerned and asked "what's wrong?" "How far would you have been had you not walked all the way back?"
TrollinYourMom14 3
At least he kept track of his virginity. What? He was on a scooter.
curlypink1214 0
Clever ;D
FMLinNMI 0
Scooter guy isnt just a lazy-ass, he's a jack-ass too.
Hansemans 17
This is pretty much what we Dutchies do when we're in Germany. Tapping some older guy on the shoulder asking (in German) 'Excuse me, you have lost something' 'What?' 'The WAR! Twice!'
ethereana 2
that my freind is wisdom in a cup. enjoy the lesson ydi and also fyl a bit of a jerk move but the enlightenment was rewarding
mramnauth 0
LMAOO wat a genius!
Jasonf6 0
Hilarious
evilteddybear 0
At least he didn't lie...srry op