Transportation: Today, I was so totally stressed out at work that I took my car...

By overlandparkmommie - 14/05/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was so totally stressed out at work that I took my car into the park and reclined my seat and shut my eyes. Soon I noticed the soothing sounds of raindrops on my car and I felt a little better for once. I opened my eyes to see that a bunch of birds had crapped all over my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 479

You deserved it 3 765

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By oops1234 - 16/04/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 508

You deserved it 17 450

By andrea99 - 03/10/2010 09:35 - United States

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 662

You deserved it 3 415

By birdfoooo - 29/11/2011 15:26 - United States

Today, as I was leaving Walmart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 017

You deserved it 55 192

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 891

You deserved it 3 639

The *****

By FML - 21/06/2009 21:41 - United States

Today, I spent 4 hours carefully cleaning the inside and outside of my car. Fairly proud of the job I had done, I parked my car safely in my garage. Later, I opened my garage to find bird shit all over my car. Apparently birds get nervous when they get trapped in garages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 680

You deserved it 5 391

By birdmagnet - 25/04/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 175

You deserved it 12 625

By targe - 19/10/2011 09:40 - Australia

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 848

You deserved it 3 603

By tristaph - 01/08/2018 00:00

Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 373

You deserved it 183

No exit! No choice!

By Anonymous - 13/11/2019 03:00

Today, I drove my car and suddenly I got diarrhea & shit my pants. I put a plastic bag under me to not let all the shit go through my pants and get to my seat. Then, one of my work mates saw my car and came to say hello, she saw all the shit and the plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 244

You deserved it 301

From a great height

By Anonymous - 08/05/2021 21:59

Today, I was sitting on the back porch with my husband. I felt two raindrops land on my head, so I said we should go inside because it was starting to rain. It turned out to just be a bird shitting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 100

redbluegreen 40

Friday 15 May 2009 10:36

Hahaha. Oh wow. At least it was on your car and not on you.

Cheatx 0

Friday 15 May 2009 10:51

Next time bring a dart gun, shoot one down, and take a nice man size crap on it.

Comments

ilovefml20 0

Friday 15 May 2009 18:33

big deal.

Tsukasa_fml 0

Friday 15 May 2009 19:58

Oh no, now you have to take your car through the automatic car wash. How terrible.

ad_infinitum 0

Friday 15 May 2009 22:50

I know how you feel. Getting relaxed with soothing sounds then finding out it wasn't exactly what you thought. Ouch.

VegasMade702 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 0:08

Waiiitttt a minute!!! Your car must have been completely covered in shiit for you to think it was raining!!! Either you're exaggerating or you're a COMPLETE moron for confusing the two sounds....am i right???

vag_fml 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 1:12

this is an fml? i'm confused why you can't simply hit your wiper fluid and be on your way?

penizulaface 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 15:30

#12... i hate douches that insist everyone who doesnt own a car is a complete hippie. seriously. people like you thinking taking any responsobility for ******* up this planet means instant fail should be shot. way to hate on the ozone layer. hope your state gets flooded and you die you american prick.

0geckofun_ 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 20:12

haha made me think of the movie High Anxiety. and also, why is everyone bitching about the OP owning a car--you better get over it because people aren't going to stop buying cars because of the environment. and also, though the car exhaust does contribute to global warming, huge smoky factories contribute a whole hell of a lot more.