Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML
Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious, creepiest friend. I've been drunken-dialed five times already. FML
Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML
Today, I butt-dialed my ex-boyfriend while venting to my best friend about how hot but emotionally unavailable he is. I realized this when there was a lull in the conversation and I heard his tinny little voice coming out of the phone, saying, "I can hear you." FML
Today, I realized how lonely I am when someone called my number by mistake and I talked with them for 5 minutes. I don’t know who she was, but I'm so lonely I was happy to have someone engage in a conversation, even if it was about her calling the wrong number. FML
Today, I spent 30 minutes listening to my crush complain about a stalker that's been sending her flowers and love poems almost every week. It's me. FML
Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML
Today, I feel so lonely I talked to the likely scam number that called me. Even then they hung up after 2 minutes of talking to me. FML
Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML
Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
howslife123 0
that's odd because every Friday night I call this desperate housewife and yesterday she ranted for two hours about how her husband still wears adult diapers
SeaChicken 0
Thats ehh pretty disturbing?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (85)
you_freak 7
I'm pretty sure everytime he called before, it pissed your husband off. Now you're talking to him. I'm pretty sure that would piss your husband off even more. How is that supposed to make him listen to you?
Kallik 0
damn. but seriously, in those two hours you could've been fixing ur relationship with ur husband.
FarSide 23
or at least fixed him a sammich...
zpryed 0
she was talking to a rapper lucky
life_hates_you 0
I'm a little confused as to why you haven't called the police yet. If it is, infact, an every week occurance this should have been handled by now! So, who's really the creeper here? The guy who's calling, or the person who allows it to continue and is trying to make friends?
Rainbow35 6
Well the creepy guy isn't hurting anyone, so I wouldn't really consider it a problem. Wouldn't the police have things like murders to be dealing with, anyway? :P
fthku 13
Because sick people who do psychotic stuff like that never potentially escalate to murder. And why PREVENT murders when you can "be dealing with" ones that happened?
mattitucklove01 0
You should be careful that your great husband isn't setting you up! I have a funny feeling that he's cheating , and trying to cause major drama soon ! Trust me he's looking forward to catching you doing something terrible wrong so he can just walk out ! Watch and see!
jayz9 0
It doesnt make sense. A creep calls u every friday and u continue to pick up then finally talk to that person?
lordcaliburx 0
what the **** is wrong with you ?
EmilyTheLost 0
well. at least u had somone to talk to right?
Stallion19 0
the guy is probably a creeper
emodude44 0
Awww. Anytime you need a friend, give me a shout honey. I'm a better listener then a phone pervert and I try to offer you advice :)